Treat Yourself Like a Research Project

How well do you know yourself? REALLY know yourself?

In today's society, we rarely stop and allow ourselves to ponder the deep questions ... like "Who am I?" Instead, we are consumed by everything life throws at us, and keep to the surface-level thinking.

If we want to be creators (which, we all are -- it is within us from birth!), we must seek out the answer to those deep "Who am I?" questions ... and not just being quick to adopt the labels we are given by others, but TRULY taking the time to soul-search.

I love how Felicia Day, in her book Embrace Your Weird, talks about treating ourselves like a research project:

"... treating ourselves like a research project is one of the greatest joys in life, because truly we are all SO INTERESTING! I mean, if we tried taking ourselves on a date to "get to know" ourselves better, we'd be floored at how many new things we'd discover."

Try new things. React to different things. What do you like (or dislike) about them?

Explore the senses; do you know your favourite Sights? Sounds? Tastes? Smells? Touches?

How about music? If you had to name 5 songs on the soundtrack of your life, what would they be? And why; what meaning do they hold?

These are just a few suggestions Felicia brings up in the book. My suggestion (apart from, of course, buying this incredible book -- I always bring it up when someone asks for a new recommendation!) is to actually follow in something Felicia says: take yourself on a date!

Self-Date

I remember my friend telling me how awkward it is for her to eat alone in a restaurant ... not for her, she does it all the time. But the people at the restaurants always seem to look awkward, like "Poor woman, dining all alone", and they always seat her in a corner, out of sight.

Why is this not more normalized? We SHOULD take ourselves out! Not just to treat ourselves to a meal out, but to take this opportunity and time to "research" ourselves.

Now, of course, with the world in the state that it's in, the restaurants may not be accepting dine-in options at the moment, so we may have to get a bit more creative for the date. However, this may in fact be the first step in your research: "Where do I feel most like myself? Where do I feel comfortable for self-exploration?" For some, it may be the outdoors -- on a nature walk, under a park tree, at the beach with sand betweeen the toes ...

For me, I think I'd prefer to spend this time in my home office, or in the bedroom on the comfy bed. Perhaps even a hotel room, to get away from daily life distractions.

Keep this in mind when you're planning your date: this is meant to be treated as such, a date ... so truly commit, and set aside the time (away from technology and friends/family). Set boundaries if you live with others -- I would do this while my boyfriend is at work, but if the luxury is not there for you, tell those around you "I need an uninterrupted hour" (or two).

If you need some help getting started with the exploration piece of the date, I have a few question suggestions below (to either ask yourself aloud, or journal on -- whatever your preference!):

What do I truly want out of life?

When am I at my happiest? Where am I at my happiest?

What is something I've always wanted to try? Why do I want to try it -- am I wanting this for ME, or for others?

What is something from my childhood that brought me joy that I'd like to return to now, in my adulthood?

Who do I truly want to be? How close am I to that version of myself? What is one step I can take today towards becoming that version?

How do I want to express my thoughts, opinions, and ideas with the world? What are my personal creative gifts?

Conclusion

Similar to the idea that Elizabeth Gilbert lays out in Big Magic, about finding hidden jewels (which I write about here), I think a huge part of creativity is about exploring ... but not just the world around us. We must also explore ourselves -- our DEEPEST selves, the pieces that we bury out of fear or uncertainty or to please others. When we explore ourselves -- who we are, what we want, what our greatest strengths and weaknesses are, what gives us great joy -- we can move forward with our creative gifts, and share our gifts in ways that align with our truest selves.