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They always return when you are just moving on

Do abusers have a signal for when you are moving on? They always seem to return just when you are moving on. Why is that?

By Talara NolanPublished about a month ago 3 min read
They always return when you are just moving on
Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

I have been working hard on moving on. To move past the trauma of what happened last year. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness isn't helping me to heal. Even though it is tempting to try and fill my emptiness with someone else, I know that is the last thing that I should do. I am really trying to do this the healthy way, the best way that I can. So many people jump into another relationship before they have healed from the last one. Bringing with them all the baggage from the past person. That is the last thing that I want to do. In the long run, I know that I am right. But it's hard. It's hard to be so lonely, it's hard to try to repair what is so broken. It's hard to gain my confidence back. There is a constant thought in my mind that I am not good enough, that no one will love me, and all the evil things that my ex said to me. I know that I shouldn't try to heal my problems with someone else. Though there are moments that I wish that I would as it would make me feel better. Moving on though.

I have been trying so hard to move on, to move past. To not love him anymore. Though I know that we should not be together, that doesn't mean that love just goes away. I never thought that I could love and hate a person at the same time.

Part of my problem with the healing process, is that any time that I am moving on he pulls me back in. I swear he has a radar. Even simple and little things can set me off, and pull me back into the cycle. The hardest thing for me to do is to stand my ground. When you are dealing with a narcissist, nothing is their fault. They will turn everything about on you, that it's your fault. So every conversation we ever have is turned around that it is my fault. That is a hard thing to deal with when you are trying to stay strong and trying to heal. When you are trying to stay in your truth, stay confident, the hardest thing to deal with is to talk to a person that is turning everything around on you.

How do you deal with that other than blocking them? I don't want to block him. Mainly just because he is the father of my daughter. When it comes to my daughter, I will always do the best thing for her. Or at least I am trying to. But him coming back to my life in any way plays on me. It tricks my mind into thinking that maybe he is right. I just want to stay strong in what I know, and the person that I want to be.

What do you do when you have someone in your life that pulls you down? Someone that doesn't believe in you. I just want to prove him wrong, prove that I am everything he claims that I'm not.

The only thing that has been helping is my daily affirmations. I do them everything morning, and any time that I need a boost. It has been helping. I know that the road to healing is a slow journey. I need to regain my confidence in myself. Over time, I know that I can and will. Getting there, getting to that point, is something else. It's a hard thing to deal with. When you are on the journey of healing.

But God won't give me anything that I couldn't deal with. So I know that I can, and will, get over this and heal to be better. I just wish that he won't pull me into this cycle.

-T

self helphow tohappinessadvice

About the Creator

Talara Nolan

I am a single parent to a 4 year old girl and live with her in Canada. I love working out and have lost over 45 lbs over time. I would love to share what I have learned and all the things that have worked for me over time.

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    TNWritten by Talara Nolan

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