The Unknown

We all come to that place in our lives where we've hit a wall. A place of insecurities, questions, confusion, decisions, and the opinions of the world. When we feel lost and confused on what to do and where to go when we become discouraged and depressed, not knowing what will come next. The next step seems like a mountain climb away. Whether it's that we can't make up our minds or doors just aren't opening like we had thought. For me, it's a little bit of both. At times I think that maybe I'm expecting way too much from life, and I'm not putting in enough to get the results I want. I also feel like I'm working my ass off for almost nothing. I'm considering moving away and starting fresh somewhere new. A place where I only know two people. A place where I get to learn everything it's about. I can get to know the people, places, and culture that surrounds my new home. I'm at that place where I need new insight and perspective. I need a breath of fresh yet unfamiliar air. Air that hasn't hit my face yet. Maybe it will hit home. I might feel something I have never felt before. It could be the realization that this is what I needed, a new beginning. It could hit me that this wasn't for me, that my calling is back in the old, but I just needed a break from the regularity that I've grown bored of. I won't know until I change something. Change can be scary, but they always say, if something scares you and excites you at the same time, do it! What could go wrong? I could realize it wasn't the right decision, but I had fun in the process. I don't think the change has to be for a specific reason. I believe if I feel I will enjoy a change in my life that could benefit me why wouldn't I jump on the opportunity. I am at the point in my life that I need to set goals for my future, and for me, the two things that I want in my life are God and happiness. Can I achieve those by leaving where I am right now, absolutely. This isn't saying I'm not happy where I am now, because I am. I just feel that there is more somewhere else for me. There is a door somewhere I haven't gone, and I won't be able to find it if I don't go. In life were supposed to take risks, and risks that can be for our gain. I truly believe this change could be a huge gain for my life. In ways of finance, faith, and finding. I need to find a part of myself that is in the motion. The motion of growth. I feel stuck here not because of being unable to determine what I want to do, but because I feel routine. I understand I can change what I do here and now but it's different. I need something else that I don't know how to put into words. I almost need to be away from the people that I know. Not because of anything they have done but because of the familiarity. I'm tired of being familiar with my surroundings. Where I am right now, I am beyond comfortable and familiar with everything that encompasses my life. I want to feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Can I find that here? Sure. Even so, I will be close to what I know to be comfortable and the urge to go back will begin to grow. I need to be away from what I am so attached to. If it's not an easy fix to go back to my contentment I will have to learn to grow from the risk, unsteadiness, and unfamiliarity of my new life. I will pray and pray till all my words are gone about this, trust me. As of right now, I feel the need to change in order to grow.