The purpose of pain II: a Psychological Perspective.

I’ve always been interested in studying psychology. So naturally, when an existential crisis hit me, I gravitated towards the discipline to find some solace. Psychology majorly deals with emotions, behaviors and cognition. And pain is one the most fundamental emotions. So there had to be some literature in psychology which would give me answers about the purpose and necessity of pain.

What I found in the overwhelming majority was that pain (in a moderate amount) was absolutely essential. Here’s why.

1. It motivates change.

To understand this prospect, we must first understand what motivation is and why we feel motivated to do anything.

Motivation is the urge to do something, think something or behave in a particular way. We feel motivated when our body is deprived of something or any of the basic needs of our body or psyche are not fulfilled.

For example, you only feel motivated to eat something when your body feels deprived of the nutrients it needs to function. Similarly, you feel motivated to succeed in life only when your need for achievement is not satisfied.

Keeping this concept in mind, let’s try to make a connection between motivation and pain. When you are suffering or in pain, your body and psyche are deprived of essential elements they need to function. Your mind thinks, “Ok. I must be missing something. Whatever I am doing right now in life is clearly not getting me that thing. I need to change my behavior or thinking or emotions. Maybe then I will succeed in obtaining the thing I desire.” This cognitive pattern compels you to seek out the flaws in your functioning and correct them. It compels you to grow and develop. And this motivation for improvement is born out of the experiencing of pain.

2. It snaps you back to reality.

Let’s play out a scenario to understand this principle.

Let’s assume your cooking something for yourself in the kitchen. You’re focused on the task at hand but your mind wanders off to something going on in your life. Maybe you’re thinking about tomorrow’s meeting and how you will pitch your product to the client. Maybe you’re thinking about something you said to your partner and whether or not you should have said that. And suddenly, you cut your finger while chopping the potatoes. The instant, sharp pain immediately snaps you out of your daydreaming and brings you to reality. You instantly leave everything and tend to your wound. This is what pain does. It jerks us out of the mindless marathon of our life and brings us to the present.

We rarely address our emotions and feelings in the mindless marathon of life. We take great care of our physical health and neglect our emotional and mental wellbeing. Pain breaks this unhealthy habit of ours.

When we are struck with an emotional calamity, we become more aware of our emotional and mental health. The way we react to unpleasant experiences tells us a lot about ourselves. The weaknesses in our emotional fortitude become blatantly clear when pain throws them in our face.

This is why pain is necessary. It helps us to evaluate those areas of our well-being that we instinctively or habitually overlook.

3. It builds stronger relationships.

If I were to ask you which relationship means more to you: the one with your best friend or an office acquaintance. The answer would most definitely be the one with your best friend. If I were to ask why. It is highly probable that you would say, “We have been through a lot together.” And that is completely true in almost every case.

Psychological literature suggests that intimacy and affection is much greater between individuals that have suffered emotional pain together. The prospect of sharing pain builds trust and provides meaning and depth to relationships. Empathizing with others in moments of emotional turmoil brings us closer to them.

Another reason why pain is necessary.

4. It builds resilience.

Studies show that individuals who have had more exposure to emotionally stressful situations tend to be more resilient. Our cognition becomes familiarized with these experiences and copes with them in a better way if faced with them again.

For example, take a look at your friends. Analyze which of them are emotionally strong. You will find that the ones who have been through a lot in life will be much more emotionally resilient than the ones who have faced lesser challenges in life.

This can be attributed to the brains natural tendency to develop in a way that ensures survival and diminishing discomfort. Pain compels the brain to develop into a better version of itself.

The analysis of psychological literature on this topic lead me to deduce that pain is indeed necessary. It helps us understand ourselves better by compelling us to introspect. It provides us with the necessary strain that results in motivation for self-growth. All in all, I concluded that in a moderate amount, pain is necessary, even beneficial.

We’re almost at the end of our journey. I will end my quest for finding the meaning and purpose of pain in the next article. There I will try to substantiate the notion of pain being necessary in life, with neurobiological research. Till then, hope this article provides some fuel for thought.