The Past

Before we begin the journey, we must first understand our past. To do this, we must reflect on memories and sort them into two piles. The first is our happy memories, which we accept and by all means, cherish. Then there are our sad memories, on which we must spend a lot more time.

If you're not following, let's take a step back. According to Dictionary.com, the word past, as an adjective, is having existed in or having occurred during a time previous to the present. As a noun, the past is the history of a person or nation.

Now that we all know what we're looking for, let's find it. Let's think about what keeps us up at night. This could be anything. Don't feel embarrassed; everyone has these. It could be something someone did to you and it hurt so you find it difficult to forgive them. It could be that you did things you aren't proud of. Maybe you had to endure a certain lifestyle, or someone forced you to behave a certain way.

Anyway, to move on from the past, we must first accept these bits;

It already happened, and I cannot change it.

It thought me something, and I am grateful for that knowledge.

It does not define me.

It does not control my future.

It is nobody's fault.

The list goes on and on, but let's digest these for now. If there are depressing moments from your past that burden you, come to terms with it. Gather the strength to face it, accept that it already happened, and realize that you cannot change it. Take the time to analyze your hurdles one by one, and acknowledge what you learned.

Now, the Lord gave you this knowledge because you will need it later on in life. Many of us end up with trust issues. We find it difficult to trust others and no one can blame us because that's what we learn. Some of us learn to be guarded, and although those walls make you feel protected, there's a fault in your plan. Blocking out and making it hard for new people to get to know you means also running from good people who come your way.

I'm sure you've heard of the phrase, 'innocent until proven guilty.' Well, guess what? when we get hurt and become too guarded and cannot move on from things, we treat people the opposite of that phrase, 'guilty until proven innocent.'

That way of life is unhealthy. It may work for some of you, but it also destroys tiny pieces of your future.

Use wisely, all the strength you put into hiding behind barricades. A man who buys a gun expects trouble. That's why he bought it, and in most cases, a man who has a gun has encountered occasions where he will use it. In saying that, if you continue to behave like a victim, you will always be a victim. There will always be forces trying to break you.

Use your strength to break free from your pain and your past. Whatever was there is gone and you need to move on. Be honest with yourself and realize that you are not your past mistakes; learn from them. Forgive yourself first and believe it isn't your fault, then forgive all the parties involved.

Remember, if you still:

Hate the scar
Hate yourself
Hate the people involved
Hate anyone or anything that reminds you of the memory

I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're still very much dwelling on the past. Take it, step by step, and prepare yourself for tears and emotions that you're all too acquainted with. This is a part of healing and moving on. Forgive them and rid yourself of heavy burdens.

It will take time to do these things and that is expected. Do not rush yourself. Relax and take things one step at a time, lest you become confused.

After you achieve moving on from your past, you will notice changes in your present life. It is no longer difficult to talk about or make reference to painful memories and you feel at peace. You feel stronger with the knowledge you obtained and realize you needed it.

Now that we understand our past, we can move on to the present. Sometimes we allow our past selves to making decisions in our present lives. DO NOT DO THAT.
Use your knowledge, but do not abuse it. Every situation will not be like the last, and everyone is not the same. Ladies, if you believe that all men are the dogs, you best fix things in your past and come again. Gentlemen, if you have the mentality that all women are nagging gold diggers, you also best go back and fix things in the past.

Lastly, if someone from a past event begs you for forgiveness, it is your duty to forgive them whether or not they mean it. Understand that Forgiveness is for you.

No one expects you to be perfect, only to try your best. It is good enough.