The Pandemic Effect

Before the start of the pandemic, (more specifically, just before the lockdown went into effect) I felt unsure about absolutely EVERYTHING. Life had me in a downward spiral. Then COVID hit.

I've always been shy, reserved, and afraid of the "unknown".

I was afraid to speak, afraid to stand up, and most of all, I was afraid of rejection. I didn't want to share anything I was working on, because, like George McFly, I was afraid of being told I wasn't any good.

"I just don't think I could take that kind of rejection"

I rediscovered photography, and bought another camera. At first, I really just wanted a creative outlet. A way to escape reality, while also engaging my mind and body. I soon realized if I could take pictures for myself, I could certainly do it for others, and maybe even get paid for it, so I decided to launch my own business. A business based off of human interaction and social situations and gatherings. Perfect timing, right? (Like selling steak, to a vegetarian.)

Fast forward almost a year later, and it seems to me like the entire world has just stopped sharing. Levels of anxiety and discomfort are crazy high right now, and it shows in the faces of the public. (The upper half, anyway.) Social interaction is SO much more important than I could have ever imagined. I feel so much more tension when it comes to being in public now, because it has been so long since we've been able to properly interact with other humans. Everyone seems to be on edge, and with the social climate being what it is, it's very hard for me to move forward with my business. (I mean, it is my own fault, I chose this path.)

Nobody seems to be talking about the effect of this pandemic on our mental health, or the toll it is taking. I have personally noticed the deterioration of my social skills, my speech, and my outlook on life. I just recently started to get back on top of it all. Family, friends, coworkers, and even the other trades I work alongside have all reported adverse effects on their minds, bodies, and otherwise, since this pandemic started. The inability to feel comfortable in situations they once had no problem being in, such as a checking out at a grocery store or getting a haircut at a barbershop. The power of a smile is an incredible one. Without seeing facial expressions, a lot is left to the imagination, and usually it all comes across the wrong way.

The past year has been an intense and difficult one, at least for me anyway. I never realized how important social interaction is, and to be honest I never really enjoyed it all that much, but you really don't know what you have until it's gone. I was perfectly fine in my bubble, with my small social group, but even my closest friends have distanced themselves. (and not just socially.) I am almost certain that I'm not alone when I say that my personal relationships have suffered through this last year, and they may or may not be repaired.

Society needs healing. We, as a people, need healing. The world needs healing, and we, as a people, need to relearn how to interact with one another. It seems as though we are losing touch with basic skills, and being forced into hiding, like the Dark Seekers in 'I Am Legend' when the sun rises. One day, hopefully soon, things will go back to normal. One day.