The Memorial Club

I remember that war just like it was yesterday. My troops were in good spirits and they were aim and ready to fight. We all had a good healthy breakfast. We were all fixed on doing well and getting home to see our families. Afterall we have been fighting this war for years, and we had ups and downs victories and defeats. But we were determined to come out as the victor. We were ready. We were prepared and we were unafraid of the consequences. I remember I was suppose to be on that helicopter when it crashed in Afganistan. But I was not feeling well and I got PTSD. And I went home to my family feeling like a coward feeling like a failure. I was relieved of my duty and I was relieved of my position. I went to their funerals to heal. But it was heartwrenching. I saw the tears of their friends. I saw the tears of their parents. I saw the tears of their children. I had to leave early because it was overwhelming. I remember gently walking outside and crying in my car while holding their picture. And crying profusely because I felt it was my fault that I deserved no recognition without them .That I was somehow a failure. And I struggled I had to find a way to keep getting my payments. My family suffered because of my PTSD. I remember trying to tell my three year old that we are gonna make it. She would not stop crying leaving her friends and leaving her family and leaving her school. It was awful days ahead. Then the medicine, sometimes I would be so depressed that I would want to end it all but somehow the sound of my children and the voice of my spouse healed me and made me feel better. And the medicine, the pain from the medicine was more gentle than the pain of remembering. It took months for me to laugh and cry for joy. You see you go through a depressive phase that ebbs away your personality and sedates your attitude. I am surprised that my family stood by me. I am surprised that my parents who raised me came together set aside their differences and their divorce and showed me that they loved enough to fight for me. My hopes were on the brink of coming back and I was ready to talk to the families just when my counselor who gave me back my home and she gave my family the security that they needed. Ms. Sandy came to me and told me now that you are better you can help others. Share your story with these veterans share your story with these surivvors then talk to the family. So my parents trained me to get the story right then my wife held my hand to check if I am okay and eventually my therapy dog from war gave me grit and guts to overcome the despair. And I wanted my parents and my wife there but not my duaghter till she grows up. It was my turn the first in the group of veterans. I saluted and turned and said my story holding back tears. And I received an applause from everyone. I shook the hands of my friends' families and they all wanted me to try their deceased family member favorite dessert. I tried them all and loved everyone of them and I told them what I have been through and that I will never forget what their family member has done and the friendship they gave to me. And on the spot gave each one of them, a daffodil saying that is what I should have done at their loved ones funeral. And I hugged each and every one of them and told them that they mean much to me and to call me anytime. The Desert Storm Veterans approved saying we need more men like that who can show grit and courage and honor their country. We need that type of leader. And we we welcome and salute you. The Vietnam Veterans approved saying our war was ugly and even worse but fellas like this one suffered the way we did at the front lines. Maybe we all should tell our story maybe we can heal the nation. The World War 2 Veterans approved saying we are a great generation but that's because we covered our flaws and had to come together. But I wondered if we gathered together and help each other and extend fellowship and unite together and bring the veterans to heal and spread hope. And just like that they decided to form and build the Memorial Club and I vowed to be the Secretary and I would help veterans get out their stories to heal them and remember them.