The Big Realisation Nobody Has

Who do I want to be in life? Dead, homeless or depressed… hopefully not. Unfortunately, that is part of reality and a consideration to be taken when interpreting your own future. However, let’s save the harsh truths of life for another time and pretend we live in a utopian world free from struggle and unsupportive parents. I am just turning 18. Maybe that explains my unsettling start to the essay, being at a frustrating age where nobody has figured out what they’re “supposed” to know. We’re told throughout our teenage years that right after high school we must be certain on our career path, assuming that career is an approved one – doctor or lawyer. Although, I am just now, after experimenting society’s typical lifestyle of high-school, university, good job and house etc., realising that I don’t want that. So, buckle in all conventional sheep, because my goals are shocking ones. I want to travel to a plethora of locations across the globe, including countries and seas! I never want to settle in one place – I know, crazy. Even crazier, I don’t want to live in a house because my plan is to sail on a beautiful catamaran. By 2030 I’d like to call myself a superhero in disguise. I’d like to help people and the environment, and get the chance to immerse myself into cultures and nature whilst doing so. All of this sounds unimaginable to most of society, so let’s start back at the roots of my desires and discuss why I want to do this, and how has who I am or the experiences around me shaped these goals.

Although most of society seems to follow a ‘normal’ lifestyle with self-proclaimed freedom, I truly value my autonomy and have discovered these ‘norms’ as prisons at their rawest forms. My belief may convince you I am bizarre, maybe you are right; after all I was the girl on the train reading philosophy’s three forms of truth, listening to classical opera whilst everyone else seemed to be on their phones entertained by Netflix or Facebook, but that’s beside the point. The point is that when I observe people from all walks of life, every day traveling through the city and to the city, everyone… looks… the… same! This may be my overactive brain, but that scares me because I don’t want to blend in to a slowly moving mass of black and grey suits hunched over their devices of hypnosis. That isn’t and will never be my purpose in life. My purpose is to bend the rules, be an individual, help the world and see the world (especially Spain, Fiji and Japan). I’d much rather volunteer abroad to teach children in poverty than earn an insane salary to work in a city job like everybody else. There a two quotes that I live by, although regretfully I cannot remember the name of the creators, they are: “The enemy of a great life is a good life.”, and “Seek discomfort.”. Reading these quotes explains my motive behind such abnormal goals if I haven’t already, though it basically tells you that I am an adventure seeker, a risk taker, and utterly, extraordinarily afraid of settling for a life with no impact and no diversity.

What thought processes lead to me those goals though? Why do I seem to be so different to everyone else? Why do I seek to rebel against stereotypical expectations? These are all questions I ask myself and some days I conclude that I must be an alien, whereas other days I figure that maybe everyone has these thoughts but are better at repressing them than me. I was born and raised in Australia, in a small town on the beach. I went to high-school at a Catholic college and was house captain in my senior year, along with graduating in the top 90%. I religiously participated in extra-curricular activities like volunteering at an elderly home, serving breakfast for the homeless, running games for younger kids and coordinating different clubs. I worked part-time all throughout high-school in customer service areas and childcare. So you could say I wasn’t a rule breaker, and was the person you would least expect to drop out of university! Anyway, maybe after 13 years of being a saint at school I had had enough, or maybe my expansive involvement in school, extra-curricular activities, sporting or theatre classes growing up created a multi-passionate personality that I could not contain into society’s normal restrictions. Either way, I know that I am desire driven and don’t wish to follow standard lifestyles if that does not send me directly to my purpose of seeing and serving the world. You consider me crazy, I consider me lucky that I’ve realised what I want at a young age before wasting time and money on a career path I don’t want to follow.

To conclude my rollercoaster of thought I will summarise by saying that in 10 years I’m not sure exactly where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing, though I know I will be somewhere I have never travelled before, serving the community. Too many times have I witnessed the path of a ‘normal’ lifestyle be completely unsatisfying, so in the attempt for a life of more greatness than I can comprehend, I refuse to settle. I’ve lived my childhood and teens as saintly as possible that now it is my time to adventure, explore and meet a new destiny.