The Big Debate: When Do You Take Your Decorations Down?

I thought I'd start the year with a fist fight. So: when do you take your Christmas tree and all the decorations down?

There is a phenomenon that unfolds in front of my eyes on social media every year, usually starting some time in November. Several people will post pictures of their beautifully decorated trees, and seem to be almost gloating in how much they delight in it all. I sometimes think a few of them are playing chicken, seeing how far they can push it, or doing it just to wind other people up.

Then you've got these guys:

They, too seem to take delight in this. Playing chicken with misery, seeing how far they can push it. Being more and more Grinchy every year, at least in part to piss off the camp who has already decorated their tree. Who has been chafing to do it since October.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for enjoying the season. What's the point in it all being over in one day? I want a jolly good run up to it, plenty of mince pies and gluhwine, open fires, twinkly lights and baubles, carols, cheesy Christmas tunes, all that gubbins.

But.

There is also a faction of people who can't wait to take their fucking tree down. I know people who are doing that on bloody Boxing Day! Sorry, chaps, but I am not with you. You absolute bunch of killjoys. Stop it!

If these groups were expressed as Venn diagrams, I think we would see a fair bit of overlap between the November bunch and the Boxing Day one. Makes sense, right? They must be sick of the damn sight of those pissing decorations by Christmas Day.

If this is you, let me clue you in on a little non-secret that the rest of us are fully aware of...

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YOU ARE PUTTING YOUR DECS UP TOO EARLY!

Christmas is twelve days, you wretched, swamp-dwelling soul-sucking misery-mongers. It isn't over until the fifth of January! You are no better than the Scrooges who refuse to entertain bauble nor Bublé until the 24th!

You are smug about getting the bastard up so cocking early, and then you're just as smug about taking it down. You think you're getting into the spirit of it all, but you suck just as much joy and beauty out of it as the other lot. You are the Christmas tree equivalent of That Guy on dating sites who talks a very sexy talk and then puts in a very subpar (and short) performance when it comes right down to it.

Both camps need to pack it in. Christmas is not, traditionally, a time of moderation, but that is what I'm going to advocate for. Get those deccies up and sparkling any time from mid-December-ish until Christmas Eve. Take them down just after New Year, any time up to the 5th/6th.

(I've been asking around and there seems to be a bit of a split about that, as well. The 5th is the last day of Christmas, the Twelfth Night. Lots of people do it then, and consider it bad luck to leave it later. But for some people, there's a whole other celebration on the 6th, marking the day when when the Kings arrived with gifts etc., and undecorating is part of it.)

And while I'm here, and while I'm getting all this crap off my chest:

If you are one of those stingy, disagreeable wankers who say out loud - in the hearing of small children - things like: "well, that's that all over for another year" five minutes after the sound of ripping paper has stopped on Christmas Day - then screw you, frankly. Christmas is a time to be jolly, or did you miss that memo?

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Thank you for stopping by and enduring my little rant. I do enjoy writing angry, especially about trivial things. It stirs up lots of creative juices. Give it a go. What small issue is like an extremely annoying pebble in the shoe of your life? Let out your inner Daily Mail columnist; I want to read about it.