The Art of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something every human being struggles with, but why? Is it because subconciously we think holding onto it will keep us from getting hurt again, or is it a selfish desire to punish the person who broke our trust?

I believe deep within our souls, we seek justice when a person commits a wrongful act. Whether it is right or wrong to act upon our anger, the key to forgiveness lies in our hearts. Even when you are angry, the ability to forgive is still etched in your heart; the anger just hasn't subsided in order to find that forgiveness locked deep inside.

We seek righteousness by wronging the person who wronged us, but why? When you do finally get revenge, what good does it do? Now two people are hurting and at a very high cost, because neither person feels good about it and closure is still pending.

I want to tell you a story, in hopes that maybe it will reach one person; a person struggling with forgiveness, seeking vengeance, trying to find justice.

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Long ago, there were two lifelong best friends, Tamaj and Judai, who were traveling on foot to a far away destination. After several hours of walking, they were both fatigued, hungry, thirsty, and becoming rapidly frustrated with one another. Upon reaching a desert, they began to argue and Tamaj, the older of the friends, slapped Judai in the face.

Although hurt by this, Judai squatted and wrote in the sand, "Today, my best friend slapped me in the face."

They continued walking for hours until they reached an oasis where they decided to bathe. Minutes after entering the water, Judai was pulled by the current into deeper waters where he began to drown. Seeing what was happening, Tamaj swam out to the deep to save his best friend.

Once safe on land and after he recovered from almost drowning, Judai grabbed a sharp rock and began to etch into a stone, "Today, my best friend saved my life."

Tamaj turned to Judai, confused, and asked, "When I slapped you, you wrote in the sand. And now, you etch into a stone. Why?"

Judai simply replied, "When someone hurts us, we should write it in sand so the winds of forgiveness can blow it away, but when someone does something good for us, we should engrave it in stone where the wind cannot erase it away."

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Forgiveness is something we all have trouble with, mainly because when our feelings are hurt, we tend to resort to anger. Learning to control the anger results in moving forward quicker. My belief is that if you can look at the positive things from the past involving the person who wronged you, the anger will subside faster. So, step number one is learning to control your anger and take control of your emotions.

Step number two, reach into your soul and find the love you once had for the person who wronged you. Remember the good times. This creates positivity. When someone hurts us, we must remember the good they have done in our lives as well. This makes it easier to find the forgiveness we are searching for.

The key is to change your feelings; do not let your emotions control you and instead, you control your emotions. Change your attitude toward the person who wronged you; find positivity from things in the past, the good things that may have come from the offender, and stay focused on that happiness. Overcome negative emotions; instead let go of resentment and stop seeking vengeance. Focus on understanding your emotions, and learn to stop placing blame on the offender.

If you must, talk to someone you trust so you can start to heal. Open up and do not withdraw yourself from the situation; the pain will just linger if you cannot understand your emotions and face them head-on. Once you have followed these steps, you can begin to heal.

Seeking justice will only find two people hurt and closure still lingering for both parties. Today is the day to just let it go. Find forgiveness and etch into stone the good this person has done in your life, and let the winds of forgiveness blow away everything else.