Success: You Have to Make It Happen!

I moved to Arizona in 2011 with four of my five children as my oldest had already established a home back east. I was recently divorced and when I moved to Southern Arizona and the only known in my life was that I had my savings, my kids, and the home I had rented.

I did not find a job before moving because I was fearful that if I waited on a job to materialize the wait would cause me to change my mind about the move.

I had a bachelor’s degree in business, however, I had been out of the workforce for twelve years in order to home school my children. I enrolled my four kiddos in school soon after arriving and the secretary asked me if I had ever considered substitute teaching. My reply was, “sure not only had I considered it I had done it when my third child was small.” I filled out the necessary paperwork and had my substitute certificate within a few weeks.

I thought I would work a few days a week but learned that if I already had a degree I could teach anywhere in the state not just one district. That year I worked every school day with no breaks and the next year accepted a job at my children’s school in the computer lab.

Before the school year ended a representative from Grand Canyon University came to the school and introduced their intern certificate program for education.

I immediately thought, “what do I have to lose.”

I enjoyed being in the classroom and this degree would immediately double my salary. I started Grand Canyon University in 2013 and in the last five years have gotten not one, but two master’s degrees in the field of education.

I can remember thinking in high school that I might be smart enough to obtain a Ph.D., but I wasn’t quite sure.

Since then I have learned that intelligence is just a small part of the academic equation, effort and determination are the key factors. When the 2017/18 school year started I did not return to the classroom but choose instead to start my Ph.D. in Philosophy with an emphasis on cognition and instruction.

My main concern was not how smart I was, but finances. Then I remembered the little southern woman that had moved twenty-five hundred miles away from home with no other plan except to move and my mind was made up.

Once again, I took out my savings and opted for the “poor” life and I say this with a smile because the riches I have gained on this journey are far more important than money.

I started classes in October of 2017 and here it is two years later. I would like to share with you my journey to my new identity in hopes that will inspire and motivate those of you who like me have dreams as big as the Arizona skies.

I started my second master’s degree to postpone my doctoral journey. I realize now that this was because of my fear of failure.

Luckily for me, my academic addiction made it impossible to not pursue my doctoral degree upon the completion of my last master’s degree.

I was an elementary school teacher and a single parent of my three children that remained at home, my two oldest were living on their own, when I started my academic career in 2013 at Grand Canyon University.

My work week averaged about sixty hours, including the commute, and my course work added another twenty to thirty hours to this.

I knew that with the addition of two grandchildren into my home that I could not continue this schedule. I made the conscious choice to stop teaching for one to two years when I started my doctoral journey. This would allow me to focus completely on my doctoral studies with limited interruptions from the outside world.

I did not realize that when one has been working as fast and furious as I had been for the past five years that a complete break from this would be a complete break from reality.

I help at my family’s furniture store in the afternoons and can always be found sitting at the most comfortable dining set with my research papers, notebooks, and reading glasses.

When customers would come in the store and start a conversation the topic always leads to what I do, as in my occupation. I replied every time without hesitation that I was a teacher, after which I would have to explain why I was not in a classroom teaching.

One of my children brought it to my attention one day that I didn’t teach school anymore. I could not think of a reply and the full realization set in that I was indeed not a teacher anymore. I thought about this horrible fact for weeks and realized I was a doctoral student, a mother, and a grandmother and this was more than enough.

Soon after I came to this realization I had the pleasure of talking to a very nice woman from Australia. When she asked the question of what I did for the first time with no hesitation I told her I was working on my Ph.D. to further my research on the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome. She was a psychologist and our conversation lasted for over an hour.

The next weekend I took my very cheery Arizona room and filled it with a huge desk and bookshelves. I have since immersed myself into the reality that I am a doctoral researcher who hopes to change the future for children born with fetal alcohol exposure. I am so blessed that I was able to take my passion and reshape my identity, therefore, finding my true purpose in life.

I am sure that you have already posed the question, “what about your children.”

My oldest daughter graduated with a 4.0 from a local Arizona high school and received an associate degree from Pima Medical in Tucson. She now works as a physical therapist assistant, has a two-year-old son and is expecting her second child in November. She started her bachelor’s degree online in April even though she was pregnant. When I voiced my concerns her reply was, “really mom after all you have accomplished! What did you think I would do?” Update: she finished her BA of Science in Physical therapy and is a travel PT assistant in Washington State and has a beautiful one-year- old daughter!

My next daughter has two-year-old twins. She was what could have been “a tragedy of a working mom with limited focus on her children” if we had allowed that kind of thinking into our home. We did not, and she is now enrolled in a local college taking her core courses as she makes up her mind about what she wants to do with her life. The decision I made to start my Ph.D. has allowed me to remain in the home as I take online classes. I watch my “grand-twins” four hours a day while she is at school and I am having the most wonderful adventure with them. Update: She is now a paraprofessional in a special education classroom at a local charter school.

My two younger children are in middle and high school. They are both in honor classes this year and the oldest already has a definite plan for college. I would like to open a world of possibilities to all moms out there by saying, “Never sell yourself short! You can accomplish anything you just have to want it bad enough!”

Update: I am starting the third year and final phase of my Ph.D., the dissertation! I’m all but there and am still enjoying the grandma life to the fullest!