Sleeping

So many times in my life, I looked back on people in that time in my space, and sometimes I wonder what happened to some of them; I mean, not that it really matters to me now anyway! I can’t even begin to count all the times that I have tried with others only to realize later that they were never meant to try hard with me in the first place. I have always known that I was worth fighting for, but others just wanted to take advantage of me for their own personal gains.

I am not mad at these people anymore because as I started the journey of saving myself and loving myself more, I learned that I was the one that was allowing a lot of the pain from myself and others to continue to grow. I learned that these people were never capable of loving me because they were and are still just as broken as I was then. I am no longer that broken butterfly where her wings can’t fly. Now that my wings have healed, I can better understand myself, the person, and the woman through this life.

To be honest here for years, I never thought that I was good enough, pretty enough, or even strong enough to live my life the way that I wanted and needed to. I spent so many years doing things for others that I found myself losing myself in all of their issues that I got lost along with them, and for the life of me, I could not figure out why. I know now that I had to learn to fight for myself first because others will not fight as hard for you like yourself. Now please, understand me here when I say that there are still some amazing people out here in this world that will cheer you on no matter what. It is just for me I am more mindful of who is cheering for me. The average person that is cheering you on may at the same time be cheering for you to fail, and this is something that I have to keep a lookout for. I am not saying that I am better or more significant than anyone else. All that I am saying is that I know I am worth fighting for.

To those few people that are in my inner circle, I want to take this time to say thank you for your heartfelt cheers because that lets me know that you were around when I was going through my silent struggles, and yet you still continued to push me forward and celebrated my successes and cried with me in my mistakes. You stuck by me and didn’t judge me when I felt like giving up when I wanted to end it all and just be quiet. So to all of my followers and inner circle, thank you.

No one will ever fight harder for you than you, so as I have always said and I still say this till this day, you only have twenty-four hours in a day, so how will you spend it? Will you spend it worrying about things that you already know that you can’t change? Are you willing to put in the work and the fight for your own life? Are you letting others tell you how you are supposed to feel and respond to things?

I will always fight for those who fight with me and for me, but I will always fight for those who can’t speak for themselves and help them get their inner voice and power back.