Self Care Shit

I'm not going to even lie to you. I have been struggling mentally lately. I woke up this morning and I experienced the strangest comibination of depression and fear one can possibly experience. I felt like I was trapped in a box, and the closterphobia was real. But I was just laying there, unable to move, unable to speak, or hardly even think. It was like a panic attack mixed with a depressive episode. Afterwards, I fell asleep, and for most of the day, I just watched Hannah Montana on Disney Plus, cleaned, and showered. But it was those three simple things that have helped me make it through the day.

And since I am avoiding my other resposnibilities right now, I figured why not write another post that could be helpful to other people experiencing mental hell? So here are some self care things you can do when you're feeling shitty.

1. Shower

I think a shower is self explanatory, but a shower makes me fee like I am separated from the rest of the world and it's just me, the water, my breath, and my thoughts. It really is the simplicity in the act that makes it very meditative and cathartic for me.

2. Taking an entire day to binge watch shows

Sometimes I just want to get out of my head and take a break from all of the self work I do, so when I take some time to just be a couch potato and mindlessly binge Disney Plus or Netflix, it feels great.

3. Meditation

Now, I haven't gotten in the habit of doing this lately, but I've found that just about anything can be meditative, especially taking a shower, taking a walk, or simply just focusing on a task in front of me such as cleaning, driving, or taking a walk. But when I want to feel really zen, I turn to YouTube, otherwise I will sit still, close my eyes, focus on my breath and whatever feeling I want to feel, whether that be peace, calm, happiness, and so on. And by the way, as I said before, meditation can take many different forms, so in no way does it mean you have to sit there chanting "ohm" over and over again. There are several things you can do to meditate.

4. Remembering to take care of myself in general

Sometimes I have so much going on, both internally and externally, that I do forget or even willfully neglect to take care of myself. But I do realize that at some point or another, there are certain things that I must priotitize. Sometimes I forget to do something as simple as brush my teeth, or workout in the morning. Or sometimes I am just so mentally and physically drained that it is difficult to muster the mental energy required just do those things, even if they are simple. But I allow myself grace to rest and then get right back to taking care of myself how I should. It doesn't mean I have quit on myself, it just means I need to remember the importance of such things.

At the end of the day, I understand that life can be hard. Which is why I am extending some grace to anyone reading this. If you are struggling to take care of yourself, look, I get it. So if no one else has, I am granting you permission to stop being so hard on yourself, and just do your best. And at the same time, let's get our asses up and do what needs to be done, even if we don't want to do them. I know that is what I am going to have to push myself to do, so I can get where I want to be in life.