Seducing Yourself With Sound

The most common anchor all throughout the history of hardships in the world has always been music and dance. All cultures, all peoples, from all over the world, have their own form of music and dance - despite not ever having crossed paths with anyone else in the world in many cases. There is something profound to be said about this observation. In short - music heals the soul because music is born from the human soul.

Coping with COVID-19 and quarantine has been a difficult adjustment for all of us. Though the idea of working from home in our jammies sounds very seductive on paper - I think by now we all realize that it lowers our mood more than we'd like to admit. At this stage in the game, you probably miss the way things were. *insert old cliche: 'you don't know what you got till it's gone' *

We miss peace of mind. We miss the ability to go outside and run errands without thinking twice about it. We miss our friends and family, we miss coffee dates and our favorite restaurants. We miss the gym and our nail salons. We miss the soft skin on our hands, we miss fresh air. But most of all - we miss our freedom.

We're all trying to maintain a sense of normalcy by doing what we can to keep the same routines. Parents - laundry still needs to be done, meals need to be made, children need to be home schooled. Maybe you're choosing to shower and get dressed every morning before your work calls and making sure you're asleep by 10 pm. Maybe you're taking this time to try out new morning routines and working out from home. 6 weeks in (7??) maybe you've even picked up a new hobby by now to pass the time, waiting for the world to return back to normal.

But the cold hard truth is that the entire world - humans, nature and animals alike are in a phase of transition. The cold hard truth is that nothing will be the same when this pandemic is over. Systems & economies are crumbling and will need rebuilding. We will need new laws created and new law makers to create them. Lets be honest - a lot of us are going to need some therapy, ESPECIALLY our medical team on the front lines. Many of us might find ourselves in new careers & quality time with loved ones might look a lot different. We will never socialize the same again. (I wonder - will you ever shake anyone's hand ever again? Will we develop a globally safer way to greet people?) This is all a hard reality to face especially for those of us who were really enjoying life just the way it was. I see you. I feel you. But let me be the first to remind you - do your best to flow with it all, and everything is going to be okay.

The good thing is that this isn't the first time the world has lived through chaos and pandemonium. In fact, if you look at history, this is probably the most comfortable state of chaos humanity has ever lived through thanks to electricity, internet, and a - comparatively - abundance of resources.

Before you sink into my carefully constructed playlist I want to ask you; what has your quality time with yourself been looking like these days? I don't know about you guys, but this social isolation has given me A LOT of free time on my hands. I can only busy myself with so much house & personal work. So I've been having more alone time with myself, my thoughts & my emotions and wouldn't you know, it hasn't been so pretty. In fact I wouldn't hesitate to call my inner atmosphere a shit show at the current moment - kind of like the world right now.

Quarantine has been bringing up a LOT of really big, and really heavy emotions. Sometimes I wake up and I'm sad. Or angry. Some days go by were I feel like I'm suffocating all day long. This might sound scary to some but let me put it this way; I currently weigh less than 100 lbs so big emotions in a tiny body can be overwhelming for someone like me. Just like having nervous thoughts can make our heart race & maybe make us suddenly need a potty break, other kinds of emotions can show up in different ways inside our bodies. It's interesting to think about how we no longer have the hustle and bustle of first world culture to distract us from spending time with ourselves and really getting to see our thought and behavior patterns.

I wouldn't say that I hate myself. Not anymore anyway. But I wouldn't say that I'm in love with myself either. I'm somewhere in between and it's been really uncomfortable. This extra time with myself has really shown me how much I really abuse myself. Like, if I treated my partner the way I treat myself, he'd have left me a long time ago. As a mother it comes naturally to soothe my babies when they're hurt or sad or angry but - why was it so hard for me to soothe myself?

Sometimes I wonder if the emotions I'm experiencing are even mine. I used to spend hours contemplating the root causes of my worries, fears, sadness & anger. But after coming back from a 2 week retreat in Bali, I've learned that not everything I feel is meant to be understood right then and there. I've learned to ground myself back into my body in a way that yoga and meditation could never. I learned how to dance like nobody is watching and sing like nobody can hear.

Dance has always been - and continues to be - one of the most powerful & effective ways to not only move blood and lymphatic fluid through our bodies (which wink wink is great for immunity) but also a profound way to move emotions through and out of our bodies. Singing can help us move emotions too, especially when an artist seems to have written a song just for you. You ever find a song that seemed like the artist put your feelings into words you could never string together yourself? Yeah me too.

I used to feel so much shame about dancing. I hated the thought of anyone seeing me so vulnerable. But after a few hours of dancing in front of about 30 other women... I realized that hey - I didn't die and - I actually feel really really good. So now I make it a daily practice to start my days by moving my body. Some days I wake up and workout outside if the weather is nice, some days I wake up and go straight for a walk around the block. Some days I take it slow and do yoga. But no matter how I move - there's music playing.

I don't know that I would have made it to 27 years of life without music to keep me anchored. Music has allowed me to feel heard and be seen by the words of complete strangers. Music has inspired me to live in more ways than I can explain. Music, makes me feel alive and for that I am so grateful. So I want to give a big shout out to anyone who's struggling with isolation right now. Please know that you are not alone. My heart feels yours.

Its a great honor to share with you all the current sound track of my soul, in no particular order. Filled with vintage nostalgia, sadness and seduction spiced with a little bit of hype to remind me I'm still that bitch even with a frown on. I hope that these sounds bring you joy and inspire you to move your body in ways you never thought possible. Touch your skin. Sway your hips. Swirl the air around you with your hands and fingertips. Feel the blood flow through your body. Allow yourself to be seen. Allow these rhythms to guide you to your way back home - to YourSelf.