All of this started with a link to an inspirational video this morning. I woke up groggy, dazed, and disoriented. I didn’t oversleep but I didn’t care to get up on time. I’ll share the link if anyone needs to understand why it invoked so much thought this morning. But it got the wheels turning, and today feels like a day to be great. It’s not another Monday for some reason. But I will capitalize and make something of it. Thanks Coach Coats.
The focus has been lost.
Pessimistic thinking would have me believe that I’m incapable of ascending to another level. Or that I’m destined to peddle around in purgatory, aimlessly drifting with no clear purpose or destination. I try to diligently pay attention to what my conscience is pointing out to me in the hours that I’m conscious; the time where action is possible. My dreams are often so crowded with information. Full of possibilities, ideas, meanings, destinies, and failures. It’s scary, exhilarating, intoxicating, overwhelming, and euphoric; it can make reality such a drag. It’s almost like being free from social stigmas, responsibilities, and terror that comes with day-to-day life. The problem is just that. It makes it so easy to fall into a routine of monotony, becoming a drone. Becoming so comfortable and familiar with the mundane and never pursuing those dreams or challenging the boundaries of your reality because you know that you can always escape it with sleeping. Becoming completely disconnected from reality is where the problem ends because at that point, you see no return in pushing, striving, or even caring.
I’m not disconnected from reality. I have a firm grasp and understand that I’ve plateaued, and I currently lack the desire to expand my boundaries for fear of creating a situation that is worse than my current day to day. It’s that fear that holds everything in place and would make it appear as if I am in control of my life, when in fact, my life is in control of me. I do not currently hold dominion over my life because I live in fear of failure and not meeting circumstances. I hate the fact that I refuse to jeopardize my security by taking risks. A stranger once told me that refusing to take those risks is a battle between your heart and your head. But when you feel completely miserable, your head and heart are telling you it’s time to act. It’s as if you’ve been standing over a cliff peering down into the water below. Before, it’s a matter of taking a risk for the sheer feel of excitement and joy, but the longer you wait, the more it becomes a scenario of having to jump because chaos and carnage are hurling towards you like a vehicle on fire and out of control, leaving you with the option of taking the hit or leaping over the cliff. It becomes a matter of life and death because you’ve ignored your intuition for as long as possible and now you are at an impasse.
When weighing the pros and cons, the cons will always outweigh the pros for playing it safe and just staying the course. After all, millions of people have had a solid to decent life doing just that. Being middle of the pack keeps you from getting picked off by predators, but also keeps you unsure of what direction you’re headed in. this leaves me with two options:
Stay where I’m at, accept my circumstances, deal with resentment later.
Break from the pack, embrace the challenge, charge ahead into uncertainty with renewed confidence regardless of the outcome.
It’s always important for me to remember that my mind is my own worst critic and my biggest supporter when properly motivated. But it always starts with me. Understand that my fears can turn my own mind against my dreams, and I can be the one person standing in between greatness and despair. It’s not a systemic issue, It’s not a lack of assets, it’s not even a physical limitation, it’s all in my mind. When I fully embrace myself and all my abilities, I am able to accomplish whatever it is that I desire to do. I know this because I believe this. Others believe this in me. Time is not going to stop while I decide which day is perfect for taking a stand. At some point, my window will close, and I won’t have anything or anyone to blame but myself because I lacked the courage to embrace those opportunities. It’s time to stop waiting for change and manufacture it. Build the legacy I know I can bring to fruition.
Peace. Love. Stay Litty.
About the Creator
One soul. 2 personas. A constant battle wages to ensure both have their moment in the sun. Calculated and rational versus bold and brazen.
The pieces presented will illustrate them both, I'll let you determine which one you think it is.