Purging 2020 Energy Through 5 Easy Tasks

Full disclosure: I have no idea what I'm doing.

I am a middle-aged suburban(ish) working mom, and in 2019, Netflix told me that Tidying Up With Marie Kondo was required viewing for all of us middle-aged suburban(ish) working moms. But I totally blew off the assignment and went to the mall with my friends instead. From what I've pieced together from the other middle-aged suburban(ish) working moms who actually do have their life together (or at least pretend well), Marie Kondo is an organization expert who suggests that if an object doesn't spark joy, it shouldn't be in your home.

Well. I foresee some roadblocks here.

Things that spark joy for me: All nine blankets in my living room, even the ones the cat ripped. A coffee maker that kinda crapped out in 2011 but would make an okay back-up in a pinch. A knock-off Yankee candle that no longer has a functioning wick but still smells pretty good.

Things that spark joy for my husband: A humidifier that our kid stuffed full of puzzle pieces about four years ago and stopped working but still makes a pretty good foot rest. 7,452 back issues of Car & Driver magazine. Every single book James Michener has ever written.

Things that spark joy for our kid: "EVERYTHING IN THAT TOY BOX AND DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH IT BECAUSE I LOVE ALL OF MY TOYS AND I NEVER WANT ANY TO GO AWAY EVER AND I WILL CRY IF YOU TOUCH THEM!"

You can see the dilemma here.

For me and my family (and probably a lot of you, too), decluttering and simplification just isn't that...simple. Things we value aren't necessarily "things" and getting rid of anything in 2020 with all of its uncertain, fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants nonsense is a challenge in itself. The thing is, we-that is the great, collective societal WE-have had a really bad time in this past year. We've lived through a global pandemic, and we've watched that crisis bring out the very best and the very worst of our fellow humans. We're now cautiously, hopefully glancing towards the light at the end of this crap tunnel and though we still have a bit of a journey ahead, we can at least approach this last leg with a little more wisdom, compassion and optimism than we had at this time last year.

But we've got to fix ourselves first, and in order to fix ourselves, we've got to change our vibe. After all, positive energy begets positive energy, right?

Here's five completely made up tips for purging the negativity and moving past the Dumpster fire that was 2020.

Step 1: Stop doom-scrolling.

First of all, I apologize to all of you that just heard that loud, cynical laughter coming from somewhere in the atmosphere. That was my husband reacting to that last sentence, because he knows that doom-scrolling is one of my absolute favorite pastimes. But we've all done it, right? It's 21st century human nature. We've all logged onto Facebook just to see what our conspiracy-theorist uncle has to say about the Johnson & Johnson vaccine. We've all creeped on that coworker who just posted a vaguely racist meme. And who among us hasn't popped into Twitter just to check if certain public figures' pages have been un-suspended?

My husband hasn't. He's not a social media guy. He understands how it all works, and once in a while he'll take a look around Facebook to see what's new with his old buddies, but that's pretty much the extent of his online life. He prefers to read actual books and newspapers. He gets his news from CNN and the NPR podcasts. Politically he identifies as a Moderate Democrat, but he frequently listens to Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson because he believes that it's important to understand what "the other side" thinks, too. And because of all of this, my husband is a very even-keeled dude who only focuses on things that he has the power to control. He can wear a mask in the grocery store. He can vote for the good guy. He can stay home to stop the spread. He can teach our kid how to be a good person. He can do the dishes.

It's a fascinating way to live. We should all try it sometime.

2. Go outside and breathe.

This one is so easy. One day next week, wake up before the sun. Step outside. Breathe deeply. Exhale. Do it again. Now once more. Do that once a week for a month.

Okay, so you're not a morning person. I get it. Do the same steps as above, but do it just before you go to bed at night.

Sometimes taking one small moment to breathe and just be still makes a world of difference.

3. Do something kind for someone else.

This one's a little tricky, because there's a catch to it. Do something kind for someone else, and don't tell anyone about it.

There are at least a dozen (but I actually lost count) YouTube channels devoted to people giving away money and gifts to random strangers. And that is WONDERFUL. If you Google the phrase "Strangers giving away money", you'll have an entire day's worth of content to sort through, and it will make your heart happy. I was actually going to link to a video here, but I decided against it.

See, it is entirely possible to donate to charity or give a homeless person some cash or hand a kid some Air Pods simply for being nice and NOT record it, post about it or even tell someone that you did it. Why? Because an act of kindness is still an act of kindness even if nobody's watching. In fact, an act of kindness is still an act of kindness even if the person you're being kind to doesn't appreciate it. I don't fault anyone for posting about all of the wonderful things they do, because I assume (I hope) they believe their posts will encourage others to do wonderful things. But I can say with some certainty on the matter that when you do a completely anonymous act of kindness for someone else (deserving or not), it makes you feel a little lighter inside.

4. Say "Thank you". And mean it.

Think about it. When was the last time someone said "thank you" to you, and you actually felt thanked? I'm not talking about a "hey, thanks" in passing. I mean, we say "thanks" a million times a day, but do we ever stop to listen to ourselves? Have those words lost their power? Recognize someone's effort and truly, honestly, sincerely mean it. Even if it's something as small as holding a door or saying "bless you" when you sneeze. After all, some days it takes an enormous amount of effort to exist in a world filled with such uncertainty as we do at this moment.

5. Set one small goal each day and achieve it.

Some days your goal may be lofty. Today I will run three miles before work. Today I will complete that project that's been sitting in my inbox for a week. Today I will not eat sugar (Godspeed to whomever has that goal!). And that is perfectly great as long as it works for you. Some days, though, your goal may be as simple as drinking a glass of water. Or putting on matching socks. Or getting out of bed without groaning. Or getting out of bed at all (although we've all had those days where the latter seems monumental, right?). Whatever you decide, make sure that you write it down or tell a friend or simply speak it into the universe. Hold yourself accountable for it, and don't set yourself up for failure. Recognize your strengths and accept your limitations.

Five tasks. Five simple things we can do to change our outlook. We have the power, my fellow humans, to bring some positivity back to the world. It's worth a shot, right?