I, for most of the time, keep on contemplating whether there exists a way for the readers, who read my blog, to become so strong and fierce from the inside that they themselves can overcome Fear and control their Anger, that too in just seconds.
Let’s face it, Fear and Anger is a pervasive problem in today’s world. I am sure we all go through these problems. Sometimes we express anger through our bodies, sometimes through our wordings, or sometimes we keep it within ourselves as thoughts. The same goes for fear as well.
I don’t know how many of you are aware, but emotions like fear and anger are pretty deteriorating for our health, as claimed by numerous scientific studies around the world. These emotions can ruin your relationships as it destroys the very foundation of it. The fear of losing the relationship or expressing anger on the trivial things, both are a one-way ticket to end any kind of relationship you have.
Showing anger to the wrong person at the wrong time at the wrong place in the wrong situation can shake up your entire life. So let’s just go to the root cause of this and discover some practical solutions to overcome fear and control your anger, not just temporarily but permanently.
Control Your Anger, Tiger
Now let’s attack the first ghost: ‘Anger’.
The most important thing to understand here in order to overcome your anger is that you don’t get angry, you intentionally, deliberately, purposefully, knowingly, wilfully, and consciously DO anger!
Unless you accept this fact, you can never get rid of this ghost. The more you keep on thinking that “I unintentionally become angry” or “I am not in control when I get angry”, the more control it’s taking away from you.
Anger is not some nature’s call that comes periodically or something that you have no control on, it is a conscious choice you make. Anger is like Dance or any other activity that you are wilfully getting yourself into. You can dance all day or don’t dance at all, the choice is yours. Similar is the thing with anger too.
Let me give you a real-life example to explain what I am saying.
People who have a job or work under someone can relate to it very well. So often your boss or your head thrashes you for no good reason in front of the whole company, insulting you and belittling you. Ask yourself, at that particular point, did you get all fast and furious and start fighting with your boss, or do you become red with anger and point your finger towards your boss, warning him that this shouldn’t be repeated again?
Probably not, right? Unless you want it to be your last day in that company, you either listen to him without uttering a single word, or you keep your cool and try to comprehend the reason why you got rebuked.
Now let’s take another situation. Say you are at home after a long day, and your kid starts pestering you or he made a small mistake and what do we do? We release all our anger and frustration on that little kid who might not be wrong after all. Sadly, this is the reality for so many families today.
If you analyze the two situations then you will get a better understanding of my point of view. In the first situation, you are feeling angry from the inside, but you resist and subdue it because you know very well that if you did anything even remotely stupid then it’s gonna be your loss.
In the other scenario, you know it very well too that the kid has nowhere else to go and you will probably get away with the whole thing by apologizing so you willingly and consciously let all your anger gush out.
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