OverComing Insecurities

Insecurity is something we’ve all experienced at some point or another. Even the most confident person in the room is surely insecure about something. The thing about insecurity is that it has the power to hold us back in all areas of life. And the culprit can totally be little things, like worrying about whether or not you will fit in a jean or if your thighs or muscles are too thin or big. The good news is insecurities are not set in stone. You can 100 percent overcome them, no matter how big or small they are. Doing so just requires some work on yourself and a plan of action. But, know this: Regardless of what your insecurity tells you (you’re not good enough, worthy enough, pretty enough—blah, blah, blah), we are all good enough( if not even imperfect). Periodt….. I have noticed that its so easy to look in the mirror and spot those things that keep us from physically fitting into that image you have in mind of yourself – spots, wrinkles, acne, acne scars, large pores, discoloration etc. I’m sure you probably think if I can just fix these things I’ll be 👌 perfect. The perception we have of ourselves so often keeps us from achieving so many things, from us asking our crush out, keeping us from getting our dream job etc. At some point this toxic cycle has to stop. I feel we have to understand that nothing can be physically done about changing your body overnight, except Surgery and even if you get all the surgeries in the world, if you haven’t changed your mindset about yourself, you’ll always see something wrong with yourself, (Note: I have no issues with people who get surgeries).

So my first tip on overcoming insecurities about yourself is;

• Changing your mindset. This doesn’t happen once, it is a gradual process. To change your mindset you have to believe in yourself, that you’re enough, an activity that helps is mirror work and self talk; I’m sure you look in the mirror daily, this can be a negative experience as you’ll be looking at your supposed flaws, and having all these unkind dialogue about your body, stop! Don’t listen to those words, instead, look yourself in the eye and say all the things you love about yourself, tell yourself, “ I love myself, just the way I am, I love my flaws, they make me who I am”, do this every time you look in the mirror and mean it. Think and talk about yourself with love.

• Treat yourself the way you’ll treat a loved one. Can you, just as easily as you criticize yourself, criticize or bestow such judgment on your daughter, sister, mother or best friend? Probably not. Pay more attention to how you feel, focus on what you do and how it makes you feel. If your body feels light and clean, it doesn’t matter what the scale says or what your body mass index may be, you feel great right? Do you feel strong and sexy after you exercise or after your zumba dance class? Go again. If you listen closely, your body knows what does and doesn’t feel good. Focus on having a happy and healthy body. Eat healthy and happily and you’ll see a change.

• Call it girl crush or jealousy but we all have someone whose physical appearance we envy and compare ourselves with. This habit can be dangerous. When you become absorbed in comparing yourself to another person, you’re destroying your sense of self, you are chipping at your self esteem. Not only will comparing yourself with somebody make you jealous or competitive against this person but it won’t help you achieve your goals, you’ll just be a ball of negative energy. Always remember that this oh-so-perfect person has a list of insecurities and body image issues.

• Treat yourself to activities that makes you feel good about yourself, do things that awaken the inner bad b*tech😉 in you. Things that make you feel sexy and confident like wearing a bomb inner wear, sleeping in a sexy night gown, floating weightless in a pool etc.

• When you are had on yourself, the people around you usually jump on the bandwagon. The more you honor and appreciate your body, the more positive and uplifting people it will bring to your life. I feel like it is when we give people the opportunity to think or talk or act negatively towards us that’s when they do so. Most times, people don’t even notice those flaws that we despise so much and until we point them out, they don’t notice it. So try to not voice or influence people to point out or see your flaws. Cause our insecurities often times comes from people’s opinions.

• Cut off those people who fuel your self hate. You see that friend who always brings you down, the one that points out that you’ve gain a pound, that you have scars and whatnot, cut them off, give them space till you’ve built your self love fort. They tear you down and you need to move forward.

• When you do over an insecurity over something make sure you acknowledge it and celebrate it, even the smallest of things.

Note: There will be days were you’llbe vulnerable, don’t be afraid, it’s all going to be alright. Everybody has a moment where they feel down but what matters is that you get back up and move forward and not be stagnant or relapse. Do you know you are 50% more beautiful or handsome than the person you see in the mirror to other people? Why? Because when you look at the mirror, all you see is your physical form, your flaws but when others see you, they take in your personality, your style, intelligence, sex appeal and wit – the whole you, to them you’re beautiful, if you have someone telling you otherwise, walk away or tell the person your worth and walk away. Don’t let it get to you.