Need vs. Want

Everything you do takes time to develop. But people don’t think that way. They want to believe they will be self-made millionaires overnight if they start a business. They want to see that after a week of dieting and exercising that the scale is going down significantly. They want to know that if they start dating someone, they should be falling in love right away, especially if they’ve been single for a long time, not realizing that it truly takes time to get to know someone, learn their heart and mind, and be able to fall in love over time.

Sure, there are some very, very small circumstances where “Love-at-First-Site” scenarios may come into play. There are scenarios where someone may lose ten pounds their first week of dieting, or you hit the lotto and actually DO become a millionaire overnight.

But these circumstances are not realistic. They are faith-driven, hopeful ideals. But if you want the true levels of success, secure, built on a strong foundation, then patience and time should not only be acknowledged but embraced.

That leads me to the next piece I love to talk about – want vs. need. We all have wants and needs. However, there is a very strong correlation between the two. We all need things in our lives. We need a home to live in, food in our fridge, a job to pay our bills, etc.

The outlook on ourselves concerning reaching new heights requires desire. When you begin to desire something, a “need” all of a sudden becomes a “want.” Desire is what transitions your state of mind; it changes your mindset, helping you realize what is actually possible. Desire is the birthplace of passion (as I mentioned in the previous blogs).

Here is an example (and I’ll use the weight loss again). You are hanging out of the house. The holidays are over. You have been gaining weight. Your clothes are tight. Then you have a family get-together. You are grilling out, joking, and laughing with friends and family. After a delicious grill-out, you sit back – stuffed – and look at your friend and say, “Man, I need to lose weight.”

It’s been on your mind. You know it by the way your clothes feel on you (TIGHT!). And then you just ate a huge meal hanging out and you know it then, too. How many times have you had that discussion? You know you “need” to lose weight. It’s evident by the way you feel, probably by the way you look, also. Knowing you “need” to do something never carries with it the desire to get it done.

Now let’s look at it like this:

Same situation. You have gained weight. And somewhere along the way, you have been feeling self-conscious about it. You know you need to lose weight. Your doctor warned of your health if you don’t, but still no real desire behind the “need” to do so. Then you have a moment where your weight becomes a factor, one that embarrasses you and makes you feel inadequate. You’ve been feeling that way for some time, with no real care to do anything about it because the “need” wasn’t strong enough to propel you.

But now…NOW, that feeling of shame haunts you. It was a wake-up call. Your “wanting” to lose weight knocked on the door of desire and woke it up. It not only woke up your desire to get it done, but now you have a passion to see it through.

“Want” is a very powerful feeling. A single mother or father who works two jobs to make sure their kids are fed and have a roof over their head is a great indicator of strength. A mother or father who decides that this is bogus and they “want” a better life for them and their kids and decide to start a business or go back to school and get a degree to get a better paying job so they can afford the opportunity to work one job, take care of the kids, and have money left over – that’s where the real magic is. The real magic is in the “want” not the “need.”

We all need a million dollars, right? But truth-be-told that if we all feel we need it, we will work to make what we can, shrug our shoulders and live off that. But if you WANT a million dollars, there is more of an initiative – a desire to get it.

Les Brown, motivational speaker, is my absolute favorite. He is my part of the reason and inspiration for doing what I’m doing. He was an adopted twin, grew up in a very poor city, wasn’t smart in school, but realized one day when he started wanting to do things…he WANTED to be successful so he could take care of his mother and get her out of poverty and buy her a house. He WANTED to be a radio DJ, he WANTED to be a motivational speaker. He WANTED to do all those things. That WANT drove his desire which ignited his pilot light – that burning, yearning passion to succeed – which in turn help create his success. There is more to it and if you ever get the chance, I highly recommend Live Your Dreams by Les Brown. A truly amazing book and a truly awe-inspiring man.

With that being said, write this down somewhere:

NEED BRINGS YOU NECESSITY. WANT IGNITES DESIRE AND PASSION AND BRINGS ABOUT EVENTUAL SUCCESS!

The last thing I will say is this…think about the last time you wanted something. Think about how you felt. Think about how badly you wanted it that it was your only focus. You would stop at nothing to get it. I used weight loss as an example earlier and there are several cases of people out there that wanted so desperately to lose weight that they stopped at nothing to get those results. You can google “great weight loss stories” and a whole slew of them will pop up.

But what if it was a job? Or a new car? Or a new career or profession? What if it was starting a business and being your own boss? What if it was going after that one person you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? At any point, did you feel a little burn inside you, just above the area of your gut? A fire, a burning that made you want to get after it and make it happen, get results?

That’s how wanting makes you feel. Now granted, I may have people that will try and dispute me.

“Yeah, well I needed a root canal so bad that I stopped at nothing to make sure I raised the money to get it.”

Sure. I believe it. Nobody wants to be in pain and you need a root canal to take it away. However, nobody wakes up and says, “Man, I want a root canal so bad that I’ll stop at nothing to make it happen.”

Nobody says, “I need a mansion so bad I’ll do anything I can to be able to afford one someday.”

Why? Because no one in this world needs to live in a mansion. An 1100 square-foot home with two or three bedrooms and a bathroom and kitchen will suffice. Because we all need shelter.

But if we lived in that 1100-square-foot home in a run-down neighborhood and realized how badly we deserved better for our family and/or ourselves and we “want” better, that’s where desire and passion are born and the fuel to build on that future success.

Desire and passion are built on wants, not on needs.

What are some of your wants? What was the last time you wanted something so badly you made sure you got it?

What’s stopping you from achieving those results now?

This is your life. This is your time. You owe it to yourself to get the best from you possible.

Your best self is waiting to be discovered. You have one amazing life so make it the best life possible!

It’s time to ignite!