My Right "Gluteus Maximus" (Bum)

Ideally, I wanted to title the article as "My Right Bum" but that might not have attracted the right kind of audience. Hence, I kept it a little technical (Gluteus Maximus) and being in IT (Information Technology) for over a decade, this goes well with my nerdy profile.

The objective of this article is to draw a parallel between a personal incident and mental illness. I have been thinking to write this article for the last few months but was scared to be judged or questioned on personal mental health status. If you are reading this article, it means that I have been able to gather the courage to hit the publish button.

Around Christmas 2018, I had a fever and was prescribed a dose of antibiotics with minimal results. As the day went by, I was concerned with swelling and pain in my right bum (or Gluteus Maximus). There was a tough choice to make. I could either go to a GP (General Practitioner) for further treatment or get ready to indulge myself in a Christmas party.

Ignoring my petty little bum, I decided to attend the Christmas party. I thought that my bum would be intelligent enough to consider alcohol as a painkiller. An hour into the party the swelling & pain increased.

Photo by Jon Butterworth on UnsplashThe next morning, I was embarrassed to visit a doctor. It's not funny to pull down your pants in front of a stranger. The doctor performed a microscopic inspection of my bum and I was instantly advised to visit the emergency department of a nearby hospital.

My worst fears were coming true. My bum was placed for an exhibition. Every 15 minutes, someone would walk in for analysis. My brain refused to differentiate between pain and embarrassment. Later that night, the doctor performed minor surgery for an abscess.

The surgery provided relief and with all the TLC (Tender love and care) given to my bum, there was no space for embarrassment. The surgery allowed me to map the whole experience with another embarrassing and stigmatized aspect of our society. I am referring to mental health issues.

As a society, we have done a great job in openly talking about mental health issues but have we accepted Mental illness like any other disease? Depression, Anxiety or any other mental disorder is nothing but an abscess that gets filled with pus either due to tough times or some hormonal imbalance. The question I ask is, Irrespective of the diagnosis - Are we at fault? If the answer is no, Whats the embarrassment about?

The embarrassment lies in exposing oneself to the treatment. Let's try to compare my situation with someone suffering from depression.

Am I guilty?

Our natural tendency is to find the reasons behind any illness. The reason I came up for my abscess was hygiene issues and this realization took me on a guilt trip. I was embarrassed at the thought of being lazy and disorderly.

After doing some research online, I realized that there are many other reasons for an abscess and even if hygiene is the reason, it's something that can be worked upon and I took the best option of consulting it with a medical expert.

Photo by Abigail Keenan on UnsplashA large portion of the population considers Depression as a sign of weakness and hence feel guilty of being weak. A guilt trip follows which stops us from working on our mental hygiene.

Experts believe that our mind creates 2000 to 3000 thoughts an hour and if we focus on all of them 90% of them are useless. These useless thoughts could make anyone depressed at some stage of life or another. The only way to work on this is with the help of an expert.

Shall I take painkillers?

I could have avoided the embarrassment of consulting a doctor by taking painkillers but would that have helped me? No. Pain killers would be effective but for a limited period of time.

The problem with mental health is that there are too many superficial painkillers available in our materialistic life. To name a few - Emotional Eating, Smoking, Improved Social Status (Cars, Houses, Branded Clothes), Hot Girlfriend (nahhhh…..) or anything which can build your social profile.

These superficial pain killers act like a temporary bandage but can it remove the pus which is building inside every moment? No, It will eventually lead you to a life full of misery and unhappiness.

How long is the treatment?

After my surgery, the wound was monitored by the doctor for infection. Dressings were changed on a regular basis. Even though the pus was drained out during the surgery, it needed time to heal.

The same is true with mental health. Once you are diagnosed & treated with mental illness, progress has to be regularly monitored. As a First Level counselor in an NGO, this is my biggest challenge. It's important to celebrate small victories but at the same time, complacency (or a relapse) could be detrimental.

Not All cancer patients are cured with chemotherapy, some have to consider multiple options. Any mental health issue is the same. Don't let the mental pus define your future. The treatment is going to be painful but it prevents a miserable life. The stigma around mental health is within us.

If you are not scared of the beast inside you, the beast outside you can do you no harm. Break the stigma, Don't let your mental hygiene determine who you are. Stand up for yourself, so what if you are standing on weakened legs, So what if you are crawling, but at least you are moving forward.

Thanks