Love Again! Trust Again!

A smile doesn't always mean things are good. It's never a good thing to assume. It is always good to build trust with people, that's the only way they will feel comfortable talking to you. It's not enough to just build trust, that connection you're trying to have with someone HAS to be genuine and not used to control them. TRUST ME, sooner or later, they will catch on to it and it'll never be the same with you again, and while you try to blame them saying that they've changed and are acting different, look at the real reason behind the behavior. You've lost a person that trusted you with everything. Sure, you can apologize and they can forgive you, but you can't expect things to be the same after that. Never hide things from them, if you can't say something to their face, it's probably best that you don't say anything at all.

One thing that we must realize is people feel things. People feel atmospheres, they feel vibes, they feel when things aren't real, ESPECIALLY when it's towards them. What's the real reason behind the phoniness? Is it to have control over them? Is it to manipulate them into being who you think they should be? Is it to have them do whatever you say? If that's the case, why not be upfront with them? WE ALL KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT! Another thing we must realize is that people have feelings and if you are doing something that you know they wouldn't like and would hurt them, it's probably best that you first tell them and genuinely apologize, then of course never do it again and also be okay with the fact that they may never trust you again. I'll end this section off with this question... Would they do it to you?

If you're on the other side of this blog, you've been hurt, or you're just noticing that you've given trust to the wrong person, this section is for you. It's 100% okay and you will be okay. We've all been through this, it's one of the things we put in the "that's normal" box. Don't hate yourself, don't blame yourself, and know that you are capable of being loved and respected. One thing my mom always said to me was "People are going to be people" and that is so true. Some people feel that they just need to control others, and all we can do is pray for them and hope that a change will take place. We're not called to change people. You are not alone in this. This is something I struggled with and sometimes I still struggle with. It's not easy getting over the fact that someone you were so close to ended up giving you the cold shoulder. It's not easy finding out that someone you felt so close to secretly keeps tabs on you and whether you've been somewhere or not because of your past. It's not easy knowing that your life is being put on display to prove you're not good enough. THE TRUTH IS YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! YOU'RE MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH, AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE TO ANYONE! Forget the labels people put on you, those may be facts but they aren't the truth. The truth is you are enough and your past doesn't define who you are. If people want to keep you in that box and not try to see the better person you're becoming, that's okay, just live your life, you have nothing to prove.

So how do we move forward? First I think forgiveness is very important. If you can't forgive, you can't let go of the hurt. If you can't let go of the hurt, you bottle it up and shove it in a dark space to forget about it. The only thing about that is what's in the dark will eventually come to the light. The way it comes to the light, usually isn't in the most pleasant way. So the choice is yours, either it can come out in a painful violent way and you end up hurting more people than you ever wanted to, or you can forgive and let it all go and live your life with lightness on your shoulders. Forgiving doesn't mean you have to trust them again and be as close as you were the first time, it just means you're letting go of what was done to you and you're not going to build bitterness in your heart towards that person. I then think the way you move forward matters. I moved forward thinking that I can't trust anyone ever again and that's not true at all. There are people in the world that really care for you and care about your life. There are people out here that will love and respect you the way you're supposed to be love and respected and push you to be a better person with no strings attached. They won't expect anything from you but your love and respect. Those are the ones that are going to have you through thick and thin, no matter what. You can love again. You can trust again. You are more than enough. Never let anyone tell you different. If you're reading this and we don't know each other personally, I'd love to be the first person to tell you that I LOVE YOU. It's what we all are called to do, love one another.