Looking For Socks in the Underwear Drawer

Introduction to a new weekly series:

As I start writing under this title, I really have no idea yet where this is going to take me, or what it would even like to be.

Blog? Series of short stories on Vocal? A book? Maybe even a life planner?

The beauty of that is, it does not really NEED to have a definition right now, does it? So. I sit here and write. Because if I don't, the energy of this idea, the 'thing' that it is, and believe me folks, ideas are entities in and of themselves, may choose to leave me and go somewhere else in order to come into being.

I have let other ideas leave me like that. OR they sit on my brain, occassionally scratching at it like a branch on a window, not happening often enough to spur me to action, until they disappear forever. Or they find someone else to bring them to life.

Sitting here, letting the words come out, just feels good. That energy that doesn't really belong to me, that came to me to be born, is being given life. A voice. Sure, my voice as well, which honestly, I have kept hidden for such a long time. It also desires to come out and play. To have light, fresh air, and sunshine, before it chokes me.

I have looked everywhere for her. My voice. When all along, she was waiting for me to look inside myself.

So now, I dedicate this, whatever it ends up being, to those who long to be heard, who have felt "wrong" their whole life, and to those out there who are paving the way, showing us there is another choice.

The Title...

One morning, right after I had been on a live with an amazing group of people, I was getting ready for work. I pulled open my underwear drawer with purpose and started digging through it. "Where are all my fricken socks?" I spit out under my breath. I kept digging, frustration mounting.

Then. Realization struck. I was not actually looking in my sock drawer, I was looking in my underwear drawer.

I immediately started laughing and it hit me what a metaphor it was for my life!

I thought about all the times I spent searching for the thing I was looking for and not finding it, wondering if all along I had just been looking in the wrong place. I wondered if there were others like me, who never seemed to fit in, who wanted to believe all the things society tells you 'you MUST do' but it never quite felt right inside, who made themselves wrong for feeling that way, and continued to look for themselves within that social construct.

And I proclaimed: I have been looking for socks in the underwear drawer all my life.

Now, all of this took place inside my head in a nanosecond. BOOK flashed in my mind. ( or at the very lease some sort of other creation with this) and now here I sit, typing.

In subtitling this " A Perspective on Life " I would like to clarify that it is MY life, and what I have come to be aware of for myself.

My son told me one day that I do not see the world the way everyone else does. I thanked him for that. I finally was willing to acknowledge that, to own it, to BE it.

It is one of my unique gifts. And one of yours as well.

In the submissions that follow, you will find things "people" say as some sort of social guidance for the path of life. They are the things we use to judge ourselves.

These things that most of society take as a given, are actually simply someone's opinion. An opinion that was believed and passed on until everyone had heard them. Most of us use them as a kind of guidance system for choosing.

It took me quite some time to become aware that I do NOT have to live by ANY of it! It fact, they were the very things that were keeping me from truly being me.

I invite you along on this trip into my inner world, my being. Take what speaks to you, leave what does not.