Learn Ways to Build Up Your Self-Esteem

Since I was a teenager, I have always compared myself to my younger sister. She’s 21 months younger than me, and she was and is the pretty one.

She was asked out on a lot of dates as a teenager and had many boyfriends. She even went to every school dance.

I was the complete opposite growing up and still to this day.

I never had a genuine relationship since my relationship with John wasn’t a real relationship.

I was never asked out to any school dance, and the guys in my grade didn’t find me attractive or worth being friendly towards me.

I was majorly jealous of my sister since guys hit on her the most, and guys always found her attractive over me.

I won’t lie, not being considered attractive hurt a lot. It made me feel uglier than I already felt.

I would try to do my hair and put makeup on, but it never seemed to work out in my favor, so what’s the point? I’ve asked myself that question many times growing up and in my 20’s.

What’s the point trying to get dressed up looking nice when guys are just going to look past you and focus on the girl who is skinner and hotter?

Why do we put ourselves through this, time, and time again? I guess we’re addicted to the feeling of being rejected.

Being Desperate to Be in A Relationship, I Settled for What I Could Get.

Ever since I was little, I have always wanted a boyfriend to get married and have a family.

I wanted it so bad that I was willing to jump into the first relationship I could get, and it ended in heartbreak.

If you have been reading my stories lately, you’ll know by now that I got into a fake relationship with a guy I met online in 2010.

I call it a fake relationship because it wasn’t real since he was already in a relationship and took some begging on my part for him to dump her and get with me.

That whole experience was a cluster of problems and taught me a valuable lesson.

Women and girls need to know their worth and know that they deserve more in a relationship, and we shouldn’t have to settle to be in a relationship.

If settling is the only way to be in a relationship, then maybe that guy isn’t someone you should date.

I learned that lesson the hard way. I was so desperate to be in a relationship and to feel attractive.

I got involved with the first guy that showed me the kind of attention I’ve been yearning for years.

And all he did was use me, gaslight me, and steal my money. This lesson applies to guys as well, since there are a lot of crazy women out there.

Learn Ways to Build Up Your Self-Esteem.

If we want to feel confident about ourselves and in our own skin, we need to learn ways to build up our self-esteem.

Men are attracted to women who are confident and comfortable with who they are; the same goes for women.

Confidence is a sexy trait to have if the person isn’t overly confident to the point that they’re full of themselves.

Being confident is sexy; being conceited is not.

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Exercise.

If your self-esteem is low because you need to drop a few pounds, exercising is a great way to build up your self-esteem.

One of the main reasons my self-esteem is low and why I lack confidence is that I’m overweight, and always have been.

Developing a proper exercise and nutrition regimen will not only improve your body weight, but it will also enhance your self-esteem along with your mental health.

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Be Kind to Yourself.

The voice in your head (self-talk) that says whether you’re doing a good job or not is a lot more powerful than you think. I’m also speaking from experience with this one.

The more you tell yourself how stupid you are, how fat and ugly you are, the more you’re going to believe it.

Try to be kind to yourself and strive to think positive things about yourself and your life.

But if you do have a misstep, remember to go easy on yourself because no one gets it right the first time.

On the day you have a slip, try your hardest not to talk down to yourself and be unkind.

This can be hard at first, since our negative self-talk is a habit, but continue to practice and you’ll get there.

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Worry About Yourself.

Comparing yourself to others is guaranteed to make you feel horrible about yourself.

I would always feel hideous when I compared myself to my younger sister because she had everything that I wanted and didn’t have.

She was skinny, pretty, and popular with guys wanting to hang out with her or she had a boyfriend.

Instead of comparing yourself to other people, try focusing on your own goals and achievements, and don’t rate them against other people.

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Help Someone in Need.

Serving others is a great way to ease our suffering. Studies show that volunteering and helping others decreases our risk of depression.

The research also shows that helping others by volunteering gives us a sense of purpose and teaches us valuable life skills.

Those are fantastic reasons to help people in need, but that’s not the only reason you should help others by volunteering.

You should help someone in need by volunteering because you genuinely want to.

It will brighten up your outlook on life and will help you feel better about yourself. And I know that personally.

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Surround Yourself with Supportive People.

Surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, will help improve your self-esteem.

Cut ties with people who don’t support you or make you feel good. You want to be around people who bring you up, not down.

When you spend time with people who say kind things to you and treat you with respect, your self-esteem begins to grow, and you start to build confidence in yourself.

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Famous Last Words.

I do want everyone to know, I love my younger sister and have a great relationship with her; I also don’t have any ill will towards her.

I may have been overly jealous of her growing up, but that wasn’t my sister’s fault, that strictly had to do with me and my low self-esteem.

I don’t want anyone to take this as a nod to a grudge I’m carrying because I don’t have one.

When we learn ways on how to build up our self-esteem, it will help improve our lives and the way we see ourselves.

Nothing will change if we don’t take that first step towards remodeling our lives and striving to feel better about ourselves.

All we can do is focus on ourselves and learn ways to improve our self-worth and promote ideas that enrich our lives. Don’t ever give up. You’ll get there.