Law 13: When Asking for Help, Appeal to People's Self-Interest, Never to Their Mercy or Gratitude

Law 13: When Asking for Help, Appeal to People's Self-Interest, Never to Their Mercy or Gratitude

In the book "The 48 Laws of Power", Robert Greene writes that "the most effective way to influence others is to appeal to their self-interest." This is especially true when you are asking for help. If you try to appeal to someone's mercy or gratitude, you are more likely to be met with resistance. Instead, focus on what the person can gain by helping you.

There are a few ways to appeal to someone's self-interest. One way is to show them how helping you will benefit them directly. For example, if you are asking for a loan, you could explain how the money will help you start a business that will eventually make them a profit. Another way to appeal to someone's self-interest is to show them how helping you will make them look good. For example, if you are asking for a reference, you could explain how your work will reflect positively on their company.

It is important to be specific when you are appealing to someone's self-interest. Don't just say that helping you will be "good for them." Explain exactly how it will benefit them. The more specific you are, the more likely the person is to be persuaded.

It is also important to be sincere when you are appealing to someone's self-interest. If you come across as being manipulative, the person is more likely to resist your request. Instead, focus on the benefits that the person will actually receive by helping you.

If you follow these tips, you will be more likely to succeed when you ask for help. By appealing to people's self-interest, you can increase the chances that they will be willing to help you.

Here are some examples of how to apply Law 13 in different situations:

• At work: If you are asking your boss for a raise, you could explain how your increased salary will help you contribute more to the company. For example, you could say that you will be able to work more hours, take on more responsibility, or travel more for business.
• In your personal life: If you are asking your spouse for help with the housework, you could explain how it will free up your time so that you can spend more time with them. For example, you could say that you will be able to cook dinner, take the kids to school, or run errands.
• In your social life: If you are asking a friend for a favor, you could explain how it will help them out in some way. For example, you could say that you will return the favor, help them with a project, or give them a ride somewhere.
• If you're asking for a loan: Explain how the other person will benefit from your repayment. For example, you could say that you'll pay them back with interest, or that you'll use the money to start a business that will create jobs.
• If you're asking for a job reference: Explain how the other person will benefit from recommending you. For example, you could say that you're a hard worker and that you're always willing to go the extra mile.
• If you're asking for a favor: Explain how the other person will benefit from helping you. For example, you could say that you're in a bind and that you would really appreciate their help.

No matter what situation you are in, by appealing to people's self-interest, you can increase the chances that they will be willing to help you.

Here are some additional tips for using Law 13:

• Be clear about what you want: Don't beat around the bush. State your request directly and clearly.
• Be specific about the benefits: Explain exactly how the person will benefit from helping you.
• Be sincere: Don't come across as being manipulative. Be genuine in your desire to help the person.
• Be persistent: Don't give up if the person says no the first time. Try again later.

By following these tips, you can increase your chances of success when you ask for help.