Jumping into fear

It occurred to me recently, that most of my life I have operating out of fear. I never thought that I would have been that person, that I was making choices out of fear. But I have to admit that I have been.

I realized it when I was making a gingerbread house from scratch this year. A first for me. I had thought about doing it last year, and even mentioned it to my mother. Her response, was that is really hard, that will be really hard, are you sure you want to do that. Immediately in my head, I got scared, and started to tell myself that I couldn't do it. That it wasn't possible for me as I wasn't that good. So in my head I shut it down as even an option for me to do. Yes I know that I shouldn't have listened to someone else and let someone else doubt me. Or make me doubt myself. I'm very aware of that, at least now. But that is not the point.

Because of the pandemic, a lot of baking professionals have gone to making online courses to make money. There is one website, how to cake it, that has a lot of classes in different skill levels. This year, wanting to become a better baker, began to purchase their classes often. Cooking and baking brings me joy, and peace. When they released their holiday courses, I saw that they had a gingerbread course available. I hesitated. To be honest, there was a voice deep down that said that I couldn't do it. I was afraid that it wasn't going to work out, that I couldn't do. But then I realized that even if I try and don't succeed, that I won't have to tell anyone. That I should at least try. So I purchased the class.

Despite my fear, I went ahead and made a commitment to at least try. I was surprised that I didn't find it that hard. The classes from that website, come with a live tutorial and a download guide as well. It is very detailed, and includes everything you would need for success. I like to watch the class live and then bake at my own time. I have learned that I don't like to be stressed or overwhelmed. And work best on my own time. Not only did I actually make one my first time I tried, but it turned out great.

When I was done, I looked at it and wondered what I was so scared of. I said that wasn't too hard to myself. Now I have been doing baking courses over the past year, and practiced a lot in order to get better. So I'm sure I have improved over the year, making it a lot easier.

But it taught me a lesson about myself. I took stock of my life, and was surprised to see how much I have let fear hold me back. But it is true, you won't regret the shots you take and miss, but you will miss the shots you don't even take. You never know what can happen if you try. You might find that you are better at something than you thought you would be. Don't let fear hold you back from trying something. If you are really afraid, then try it at home and not tell anyone. If it works out, then you can tell people. A lot of my fear was telling people and then having to tell them when things didn't work out. By not telling them, you are taking that away as an option.

2021 is almost over. I think most of us are happy that 2022 is finally year. Really look over your life. What have you not tried because fear was holding you back? Making a list of the dream life you would like. If you could pick and choose your life, what would it look like. Then write down every aspect of that. Put it up somewhere that you can see it.

Next make your goals for the year. Make goals that are specific, and that will get you towards that goal life that you want. No matter how scary that it is, just try. You might be surprised how different your life can be if only you try. Let's take the jump together, and lean into the fear.

-T