Journey to Me

I remember like clockwork it's my 15th birthday and exactly at 6 pm my cycle begins

And just as quick I remember being placed on depo Provera

I remember the changes I went through physically but also mentally

The weight gain and increased appetite

I've had stretch marks since then and somehow I convinced myself that men were supposed to be fat and women were supposed to be skinny

I was taught that not only was my complexion too dark my body was never enough

I remember being told that its a shame to have stretch marks and not have kids

15-25 were the most conflicting year's of my life

Torn between the little person I used to be and the woman I was forced into becoming

For year's it hung over my head that men were supposed to be fat so with no valid explanation as to why I began to try to change myself

I tried everything I could think of to lighten my complexion, lose weight and get rid of these unsightly stretch marks

I wore long sleeves and jackets to cover up my body and these hideous scars

My saving grace was attending college and learning that stretch marks are normal

I could begin to breathe and relax into being Cymphony

I could relax and not always cover up to appear perfect

I learned more about birth control and the long term effects it has on your body

I accepted me in my entirety and I could begin to heal

26-30 have been a constant experiment to learn to love, trust and respect my body as the temple she is

And I owe it all to science

Long before I knew of apothecary, herbalism, and homeopathy I felt that my life was purposed for something greater

And so is yours 💚

The moral of the story is we all have a dream even if it's birth from thoughts, feelings, and pain of our past

We are blessed with those reminders so that we can begin to heal and help others to heal

Growing up when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I didn't have the logical response that most five-year-olds have

When asked what my career choice was I proudly responded I want to make people smile

Not out of duty or obligation but because I knew then what young Cymphony is teaching me now

That it's not about who you think you're supposed to be or who others tell you you’re supposed to be

Yet it's how you show up in spaces

How complete and whole you are and not who you pretend to be

No matter the masks

How you treat yourself sets the tone for those around you

I didn't know then that I would be a self-care coach but it has brought me so much healing and truth helping myself and others journey back to center

THIS JOURNEY IS NOT ABOUT BEING PERFECT BUT UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU A PERFECTLY DESIGNED AND NOTHING AND NO ONE CAN CHANGE THAT

NOT EVEN YOU‼️