its all about you

This piece could go in a few places as it covers a few subjects. Its born from mental health and it could be an unpopular opinion , but here it is in motivation territory. I have learned over time that the there is only one person you need to put above all others, one person that deserves your full respect and one person that you should love and cherish above all others.

Nope its not your mum and its defiantly whichever deity you prefer, the person is you. I have put myself behind the needs of others for a long time, the first time led to 6 months off work sick due to a mental breakdown. I realised to paraphrase the musketeers, its all for one and sod the rest. You don't have to rid yourself of those around you, just put your needs first and everyone else's second and below.

If your not well you cant help others anyway, so you need to be first. Seek help, share tasks and if needed withdraw totally.My first marriage ended mainly to me being full time employed, main cook, main cleaner and main parent, while my wife spent the left over money from our kids disability allowances.

I stayed around until I knew they were safe and would be ok, my eldest is in a supported care home and Is well looked after. My youngest disowned me when I left and severed contact soon after bar the odd messenger message of abuse. This is one of the hardest things to accept or to deal with but I haven't had a choice. Indeed its my youngest's birthday soon and the day will be hard, its just something I had to accept. I am in contact with my eldest so its not all bad.

I learned things the first time which have helped my second depression which is happening at present. The differences this time is I still love my partner deeply and kids aren't involved. The debt, poorly in laws and too many little things happening are the same. This time I am trying to listen to a lesson I learned and have tried to teach others.

Stress only about what you can change, try not to stress things you cant alter. We are in debt and my partner has lost her job so we stress, we deal by trying to find her a job, appealing her sacking and trying to spend as little as possible. Her father needs heart surgery, we worry but there's little we can do so have to deal with it. Once the surgery is happening things may change but until then we cant do much.

There is no god in my world although I know some take solace in an all powerful being. For me its a fairy tale and I am too old for those. Its why science is fact and religion belief, no aspect of religion can be proved. Throw away all science books and all religious books and wait a hundred years. All science will be re-proven, all religion will change into whatever fits. Religon exists to answer any question that some people don't know the answer too, who made the earth, God did it.

For some of my utter disbelief in organised religion and Christianity itself consider some trivial things and some more important ones. Look at pretty much every representation of Adam and Eve, the first humans on earth apparently. So explain their belly buttons please someone, I'll wait. Also for the paintings of the last supper why are they all carefully placed on the same side of the table unless this was the first group selfie.

The more serious aspect of religion is the amount of death and division its caused. Every year for at least 150 years there has been at least one war ongoing on earth. Nearly all religion being the cause or a major factor. Surely a malevolent deity would sort that sort of thing out.

Decide for yourself the standards you wish to live by, the things you decide are important and love and respect the ones you want to. Intolerance in the main is taught and handed down. Racists children will learn this from family, learn to think for yourself. Don't like the music you think you should because others do, don't decide you need to look like others do. Decide your own path through life.

I was once accused of liking the music and films I like because its controversial and others wont like it. Though this is a good reason its not true, I like what I like because I like it. I am listening to Decapitated while writing this, I changed that from Cannibal Corpse before that. I put those on because I like them, nobody told me I should . I might have heard or read about them somewhere and decided to listen. In the same way I was recommend by the singer in one of my favourite bands to listen to the bands old singers new group. The old singer is one of my favourite and his previous band were very good so I listened. I didn't like so didn't listen again, I decided.

Ultimately decide all you can for yourself. There are a few enforceable laws you have to follow but after that your your own boss.