It Was When I Realized That Depression Was Satan!

I have struggled with depression for more than twenty years. I call it my Unwelcome Visitor. I studied my life, actions, choices, and decisions while fighting to figure out, ‘Why the hell did depression choose me?

‘Depression doesn’t choose anyone!’ my internal insanity argues.

“I didn’t chose you!” I fought back.

‘Well, someone did, because I am here!”

Why am I depressed?

I don’t have a good life, but I live a damn good one. I obey the rules and laws of the land, morals, ethics, commonsense, honesty, wisdom, kindness, life, love, living, etc.

As they would say in Jamaica, ‘I know the road code.’ That means I know how to live wherever life drops me.

Life, poverty, knowledge of my world, and being a female are a few of the things that forced me to be more aware, alert, and adaptable.

SO, WHY THE HELL AM I DEPRESSED?

I got no answer, and Depression mounts my pain.

Kiki Walter said, “So I have depression. I still have to work. I still have to take care of my house, my dogs, and my kids. I come last. That’s the reality. Yes, I come last.

All of my life, I put others before me. Like Kiki put herself last.

So, did I.

I push myself to the side, back, down, closed, anywhere, where I will be ignored and unseen allowing others to shine. I feast on sadness, thoughtlessness, cruelty, and anything negative humanity gives for the positivity and love I share.

When I had an empty nest, depression attacked from all sides. All I had to care for was myself and my husband.

As a female and a mother, life alerts me that I will always have someone to take care of.

I had only me now. No distractions. Just me.

I didn’t know how to put myself first.

Depression doesn’t stop life, love, and living for many of us.

Life didn’t give some of us a choice to fail or be weak.

#Iintend2survive so I find ways to keep going.

Satan!

Yes, Satan!

We are afraid of him as children. He was used as leverage to keep many of us on the straight and narrow path. Some carry that fear into adulthood.

The idea came to me when my sons were attending an all-boys high school in my country. The trouble that brews and explodes at school because of ego and high levels of testosterone seems to follow them home every day.

Attending religious schools, we already know about the goodness of God and the evil of Satan. So, I programmed into their brain that Satan comes in many forms and disguises. He aims to destroy your life.

Don’t let him win.

Then we worked together to identify his many disguises in many areas of life, living, circumstances, situations, issues, trials, errors, etc that life sends our way. We learn from the ones we missed and become stronger and more aware.

It was when I realized that Depression was Satan!

Its aim was to destroy me and you. Our brain is programmed to fight Satan because he is bad. Praise God because he is good.

Depression became Satan for me!

That thought strengthened me and gave me more reasons to fight it every day!

Think of your challenges including Depression as your enemy, Satan, the Devil, etc., then program your brain to not let any of them win!

When you hit rock bottom, rise up! Don’t allow Satan/Depression to win.

When life pushes you to the edge, jump, fly, walk, crawl, dance, slide, glide, swim, scream, holler, just move! Don't allow Satan/Depression to win.

HOPE IS EVERYWHERE!

Who or what is Satan to you?

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.