Insecurities of a passionate ‘writer’

Have you always had a passion to write?

But have always been a little uncomfortable to share your writings, due to always thinking it’s not good enough, not exciting, or you’re not creative with the words???

I have, and have subconsciously compared my writing to others, sometimes, it can be helpful, in some strange way, it can help expand your vocabulary and writing style.

On the other hand it can also place you into a negative mind-frame, one which keeps on spiralling downwards, where I end up emotionally distraught.

Recently, I have been inspired, and therefore have been dwelling into the kind of writer I can be and the experiences I can write about it.

There is so much I can write, and that too, creatively.

Currently I’m being constantly inspired by up and coming new authors, who are striving to get their work out there and succeeding, and one day seeing myself reach those highs or (should I say goals).

Then you have inspirational TV shows and movies, which portray amazing characters that are figuring out their lives and you automatically, as fast as a blink of an eye, connect with these characters, such as; strong women writing about their experiences and relationships through their point of view, sharing a woman’s perspective, and men that are writers for magazines which main readers are females, allowing themselves to explore the emotional aspect of their writing and their experiences. It has lead me to desire and wish, I could be strong and inspirational as these characters, who also exist in the real world too.

Then I came across Vocal, a platform which supports and funds writing and storytelling creativity. I was in two minds whether to go ahead and publish my writing, due to the constant fear of whether it would reach the masses, whether I would get noticed, reach the hearts and minds of people, be inspirational and also make a career or a living from it.

Yes, another ‘millennial’ (as the older generation would say, however, don’t know if I am) writing about how to turn her passion into a career.

What can I say, I am aspirational, and doesn’t everyone deserve the right to choose a journey which makes them happy. We always hear and are advised to choose a career path we are happy in, work in a place and environment, we enjoy. So yes, I am exploring writing as career, but also understand that it is hard and tough.

You see ‘publishing’ on Vocal is not the same as ‘posting’ on my ‘designated for writing’ accounts, Instagram and Tumblr. On vocal I use my actual name and not my pen-name WritingOfTheHeart.

On the other hand the fact that I have a base of people who most of the time like my post, especially on Instagram, not so much on Tumblr, (even though Tumblr is designed for passionate people who want to be writers, guess it’s a tough crowd to please), but that somehow, it feels like I am failing in my passion, writing; and therefore I do not need the added stress of publishing my writing on a platform like Vocal.

What if this doesn’t lead to anywhere?

But yet, here I am, on Vocal, so far, published two of my writings which are in the Poets category, and now writing this piece on my insecurities as a ‘writer’ (if I can call myself that), who does not have a degree in English or Journalism, which are the kind of degrees one needs to embark into a career as a writer.

So a little advise to all those young ones who want to be writers choose the easy way and choose the right degree.

No need to make life hard for yourself, right?

Otherwise you will be like me questioning whether, if I can label myself as a ‘writer’, just because I post my writing on Instagram, Tumblr and get a few likes; and now on Vocal, does this even make me a writer? Am I now a Vocal writer?

I don’t know.

However here I am, currently studying a master’s degree in Psychology and with a BA in Early Childhood Studies, under my belt, who has a die-hard passion of writing since she was young, looking to share her writing, which comes direct from her heart, but not knowing where it will lead her.

Let’s see and find out, (together).