Indulge the Mind

Always starting off the new year with the classic "New Year; New Me" becomes more overwhelming as the years goes on. Trying different hobbies and looking at ways to continuously improve myself, only to stop two weeks into a new endeavor to never pick it back up again. The tiniest spark of interest catches flame, but quickly extinguishes after the hobby becomes a chore. "Not this time," I'm constantly telling myself, but something will happen or other interests would distract me from fully becoming indulged in just one hobby. Although, after a year of learning about myself and discovering why I'm constantly searching for something to preoccupy my time with, I found that it's okay to not stick to just one thing. Growing with my surroundings to find new ways to express myself, regardless of how many different ways I attempt, plants the seed to finding my passion.

This year, I approach my aspired hobbies differently; reminding myself that it's okay to lose interest, but don't give up before I even try. I often reminiscence of old hobbies I wish I maintained, only to find it's not too late to explore them once again. With some of my old interests being forced or restrained to the scope of the school system, it was hard to expand when the restrictions were nearly suffocating. Now without those restrictions, I find myself wanting to try again and see what may transpire. This time will be different, I hope, as I approach this new hobby not as a task, but as a way to indulge my mind and grow. The idea of this becoming a chore lingers less, as there is no expectations to meet; only the drive to share experiences and creativity.

While trying each new interest, I already know the struggle of trying not to overwhelm myself. Previous attempts have resulted in failure due to my impatience, but I approach this attempt with the theory of relaxation. In the past, I’ve convinced myself I don’t have time for little hobbies. Instead of doing productive things that I would mostly enjoy, I filled my spare time with sleep or games. The aspirations of indulging into creative writing only faded as my mind concentrated on the big picture instead of focusing on just the start. Very easily, I get discouraged by the idea that whatever hobby I do must result in big profits or massive fame, but this time, I just want to start small. Without the stress of writing a big book and hoping it does well, I reprogram my brain to just focus on what I enjoyed about creative writing in the first place, short stories. Although reading a whole book can engulf my mind with new worlds and creatures for days on end, sometimes all I want is a few minutes in another world to escape the chaotic reality around me.

Although I’m always aiming for self-improvement, I managed to take a huge step last year, so this year I work on finding the hobbies that are right for me. After a long day of work, the ability to push myself to partake in an activity of my choosing without the feeling of being forced has always been a personal goal. The feeling of being addicted to something small I enjoy is a feeling I miss. The moments where the world around me vanishes and nothing matters except the project I’m working on and the occasional break for a snack. Working on something late at night only to be interrupted by the blinding sun peeping through the curtains, reminding me time is still a construct I must follow. Those occasional happenings spark my desire to continue to strive and enjoy the little things in life. So, as the New Year starts, I begin my excursion to find my hobby. There is no set goal or deadline, only to go one day at a time and to aim small.