If Today Were My Last Day On Earth, What Would I Regret?

How many of us cogitate on the word regret? How many of us fear this word? How many of us deal with regret on a daily basis? Who out there can tell us what regret really feels like and why we should avoid it? I can tell you on which bracket I fall on this. None of the above mentioned. I do not think I have ever experienced regret. I have experienced disappointment, sadness, light depression that was nuanced with regret, but most of these waves flew by me and I moved on always with a brand new ammunition set of skills to survive life on earth and in society. Therefore, I do not believe I have experienced regret in its purest form. Maybe I am laggard on it, perhaps it is not in my nature, or could be something completely unfathomable to me as of right now. However, this does not make me blind and I can easily spot those who are living in regret. A handful of them know and admit that they are, another slice is in denial, and to the other half that have encapsulated regret in their subconscious have no idea how they are acting upon it, which makes me realize this factor is totally unbeknownst to them. I have always had (those few times I do) a spiritual take on life experiences. I think some things are just meant to happen to shape us a particular way. For example, think how our parents, our household, immediate family, school district, economic bracket, and countries in which we are born in, end up greatly affecting our life choices and infuse us with a set of values that, funny enough, we are profoundly convinced we are the artificers of each and every one of them. This could be destiny, this could be something bigger than us, or this could be nothing special or complete coincidence, there is no direct evidence for either one, by extension, mine statements/theories/assumptions shall be taken as mere hypotheses.

I steer away from the typical attitude a concerning amount of people have to problems that have not yet affected them. I coined it a name. This is gonna be a long label, but so are life’s problems, so, here it goes: “If it is not me it is not my problem, or worse, if it is not me, it is not A problem”. I live in Los Angeles, California, and I can confidently affirm that we have possibly the largest glut of people living in the city/county that embody and espouse a life full of regrets. The most evident are usually the “entertainers” transplants that have relocated to L.A. to have their big break in La La Land, a.k.a. Hollywood. I even tried to do some stats research to see how many people that relocated in the city have become wildly successful with all the fame and riches that are so coveted by many, yet, statistically below 1%. There can be only so many Lady Gaga’s, Katy Perry’s, Justin Bieber’s & Ed Sheeran’s that the world can absorb, yet thousands think they’ve got what it takes. So, what happens next? You watch them acting as miserable food servers that perform below petty with a -snobby meets inferiority complex meets regret meets low key shame meets underachievements meets hate for the world- behavior, and there you are, a patron of the restaurant, receiving back-handed insincere compliments from individuals that are transmuting to your energetic field their own self hatred/pitty. And when I notice these folks well into their 40s and 50s still surmising as if they are in their early 20s mulling over having another half a century ahead of them, that’s where it gets delusional. This is the most blatant, in your face instance that first comes to mind to many locals in Los Angeles, so now I would like to let us get back to the real world, with real people that have real problems.

In my extended family, mainly from my father’s side, regret is the daily recipe sung harmoniously into reality from all 9 siblings of my father, of course, my father leading the squad. When I was younger, all I can remember of my dad, at all times non stop, was him complaining about things in life he didn’t have and him regretting even the most basic activities taken for granted from everyone else. This incessant shrill set a very resentful tone in our family, it manifested envy and competition between siblings and cousins, jealousy, bad-mouthing each other, enjoyment to one another’s disgraces or misfortunes and we all grew weary of each other. Final result? We’re not in touch. We don’t talk anymore. Sure, we do that little copacetic superfluous small talk if we bump into family events so we can save face, but that is it. Nothing is meant. We all move on. I also dodge family events from my dad's side like tuberculosis to begin with. I feel uncomfortable in their presence at all times, I feel tension, and rationally or intellectually, I see no purpose in engaging with them.

Due to my high social filters, I rarely allow people that live their lives in regret into my private hemisphere, and the examples I have reported above were either force majeure, thus, I could not dissect myself out of them, or I am surrounded everyday by it superficially in everyday transactions while running errands that one can’t help but notice. I am convinced we all can report our own idiosyncratic experiences with people that live their lives in regret, and the fruits this conduct bears for them in their lives. This shall be enough a reason for the rest of us to not contemplate this course of action. Not because it is bad in nature, but because it brings no favorable outcomes and it invites in even more misery. Be wise. We can learn from our mistakes, but it is even smarter and better if we can learn from other people’s mistakes.