I Moved Out at Eighteen... This Is What I've Learned

You read that right. I moved out of the house when I was eighteen. And I haven't moved back in. To be honest, I haven't stayed with my family for a time period longer than two weeks separated by five or six months. It wasn't hard to make that decision. I joined the Navy, and, so far, that decision has been made for me for the past four years. Let me answer a few questions you may have real quickly:

1. No, I don't regret my decision to join. Being in the military has its ups and downs but that's every job. I joined so that I could get an education, learn a trade, and support my family back home.
2. No, the military is not an easy lifestyle. I would almost dare to say it's harder than the civilian/college life (yes, I took a few college courses before joining). While you are still learning who you are, you're also learning your trade and consistently performing in a high-stakes environment, no matter what branch (except the air force ;)). On top of that, most military members also take college courses.

Now that those questions have been answered, let's address the challenge YOU are facing right now. So, maybe, you're eighteen and are now facing this one crucial step of growing up: moving out. Whether you are going to college, joining the military, or just starting at life, this is where the rubber meets the road... and you feel it. You feel the breeze of freedom sending shockwaves down your spine because, deep down, you are afraid. You're afraid of leaving your friends and family. You're afraid of taking those first steps alone. For the first time, you're walking down a seemingly lonely road. It's the road of life. I felt that. When my mother dropped me off at my dorm room for my first night on campus, I felt that. When I saw her the next weekend for lunch, I felt that. Months down the road when I performed my final swear-in to service, I felt that. Even when we marched out of the building towards the grey buses that would take us to the airport on our way to basic training, I felt that. One thing I learned while I was in the dorm room, in the building, on the bus, and on the plane... Everyone else around me felt the same thing. We were lost. We were lonely. We were afraid. And, guess what? That fear is completely normal. That sadness is completely normal. It means you're alive. It means you're awake.

The best thing that could've ever happened to me was joining the military. When I was eighteen, I had the personality of a yo-yo; I'd leave and come right back when I felt like life was too hard. The military doesn't provide me that opportunity to return to what I'd call my "safe-haven." I had to learn to deal with my own problems. I had to learn to lead and follow. I had to learn how to make friends and how to love enemies. I had to learn how to define success for myself. And, because of these learning experiences, I've grown exponentially. Now, I'm not trying to advertise the military to you. I think these experiences come in tandem with any path you choose. What I'm trying to say is, with every problem you face and solve, you will grow. And at such a young age, that is a defining mark of success. It says you've matured. It says that you are able to handle these situations while in uncomfortable circumstances. It says you are ready for the next level.

Because I moved out, I was forced to learn how to manage my time and money. I was forced to develop social skills and learn the specifics of timely and effective communication. I had to learn how to cook my own meals and file my taxes and I'm all the better for it.

Out of all the things I've learned, here is a list of the most important ones:

1. Love family. Many people around me have experienced loss of their loved ones. I don't get to see my family that often, but every chance I get, I'll be on my flight home to see them. God has blessed me with them and I don't plan on letting them go.
2. Love others. Life is too short to go around hating people for any reason. I've understood that I might not always agree with the people I work with, but, the days will go by much faster if I don't hold grudges against them and choose to forgive them. Hate is the only thing that can destroy both Love and Joy. And Love and Joy are too priceless to throw away.
3. Love myself. This was a tough one. For the longest period of time, I hated myself. I hated myself so much that I would cuss myself out when no one was around. I purposefully ostracized myself thinking the world was against me when, in reality, I was against myself. It took many months to figure that out, but, when I did, I learned to love myself and that's when peace entered.
4. Love God. This might actually be the most important one. I don't mean to impress my religion on anyone, but this helped me when I felt I was beyond saving. When I accepted Jesus in my heart a few months ago, my life changed and my outlook; my perspective on everything changed. I changed so much for the better. People look at me differently now. I look at myself differently. And I feel that I've found my purpose.
5. Know who you are and know who your friends are. In my short time, I've only observed two types of people: the ones who make it and the ones who don't. I've hung out with both groups, one longer than the other. Choose your friends wisely. The people you hang around will either lift you up or bury you. Find people with similar/stronger drive as you. They don't have to have the same goals, but if they have that internal motivation, they can help stimulate you and vice versa. Gas feeds all types of fire.

So, now I'm 22 years old and I have the rest of my life to live. And I can't wait to live it.