I just quit my job.

Hi Vocal, long time not posted. I know, but my job has made me very busy. But do you know what, it's about to change because....

Something big happened this week. I JUST GAVE MY NOTICE.

And I didn't quit to go to another role, or because I was not happy with my manager and team. No. I absolutely adore the people I work with. They are actually the reason I have stayed here for this long. Without them, I wouldn't be here. But I have decided to quit for myself. For my mental health and wellbeing.

I have been in a very difficult mind space lately. I am battling through ED, I have body dysmorphia, I have anxiety and have been very down for a while now.

Now I work in recruitment. Worked. (It's weird to say that) But anyway, probably not the best industry when stress is part of the job description.

When I started recruitment, it was easy, maybe too easy to start a career in recruitment. I didn't have to look for the roles, we had clients coming left, right, and center looking to grow their teams. We have too many roles and not enough people.

Unfortunately, after the recession, this has become a bit more difficult. Companies are not looking to hire anymore, on the contrary. Loads of budget cuts, no budget for recruiting, staff layoff. We have a lot of people looking for jobs, and no roles to put them into.

That started back in the middle of the summer last year. And it hasn't really improved. In the beginning, everybody was like "Let's stay positive.", "Let's wait a bit, Q2 will be better.", "Oh no, after the summer will be better"... We're now in October, it hasn't really improved. They are even talking about things getting "back to normal" in 2025. I guess we shall see about that.

So when you have targets to achieve, KPIs and you work on a commission plan but do not get any placements, this can get rough. I only achieved my monthly target once this year... But I swear, if I hear "Grit" or "Positivity" again, I will jump off our 4th floor.

I have had this feeling in my gut for the last 6 months, this stress, that is keeping me from sleeping properly. This anxiety before the end of the weekend or every day I am getting ready for work. I have been crying for weeks over my job. And enough is enough.

I spoke to my manager and he has been the most understanding person ever. He is actually the one to tell me that I should back off and think about myself. I am so grateful for what I have learned from him and from my 2 years at my job.

But leaving without a job lined up is also terrifying. The thing is I kinda lost myself in my job and I have no idea what makes me happy, what I want to do. What my passion is. I have been drained by recruitment and I am going to recenter for a bit, think about what I want to do next, do things that I have been wanting to do but never had the time, find what I like to do as well as I don't even know what makes me happy, enjoy the ride and see how things go.

It's not a step back, it's a step forward into my life journey, a new chapter, a new adventure, or however change is represented.

Let's hope it's a good one. Wish me luck !