I'd Say I'm Happy For You But Then I'd Be Lying

"Comparison is the thief of joy". I know this firsthand because I'm always jealous of someone and consequently I'm also always a bundle of bitterness. Out of all the good ones envy has got to be my go to vice. It's my favorite way to self-harm. I don't know why that is exactly. All I know is nothing puts me in a yuckier mood than seeing people's vacation and engagement posts. Now is this all the time? No, on rare occasion I am happy for my friends. But everyone else on my social media feeds are perfect strangers, so I can't be obliged to be happy for ALL of them ALL the time right??

Now this is going to be a devotional thought but I won't waste my time telling you that envy is a sin, because you don't care and neither do I. That knowledge alone has never stopped me from being envious anyways. I'm more curious as exploring why it's so bad for our souls and what we can do to combat it. To get started here's a few reasons why envy sucks:

1. It's a giant waste of time -enough said.
2. It takes your eye off of your own prize – You'll never get what is meant for you while looking at what is meant for someone else. Envy shifts your focus- you could be planning your own tropical getaway but instead your lusting after someone else's.
3. It makes you a crappy person -seriously no one like a person that is jealous all the time.
4. It leads to discouragement- discouragement is the only reward of envy, and that kind of negativity makes it harder for you to pursue your own goals with passion. All in all envy does nothing but derail you.

I remember a time in my life when I was virtually immune to envy. I was training for my first marathon and my schedule was rigorous and full. The habits I developed as a result did more than make me a good runner, they made me a better person. Without even realizing it, they were healing my jealous heart. Here's a few ways how:

1. I had my own goals, big ones. I spent all my time preparing for my race and I was having so much fun that I didn't care what anyone else was doing.
2. I had a clear idea of the good life – my desires were clearly stated and sought after. I think half the trouble with envy culture is that we want it all. We don't know what would truly make us happy so we grasp at every cause of joy we see.
3. I only focused on people who had similar goals as me and I let them serve as teachers and not competition. Maybe traveling is your dream, cool! Instead of scrolling and hating on others, why don't you just ask the object of your envy how they managed all of the fancy trips. Learn to be inspired, not threatened.
4. I had to conserve my energy- I swear being jealous burns some major calories, but it's wasted energy and focus. Energy that you need for your own hustle.
5. Perspective. I had a lot of people say they could never do what I could do or how they wish that they could or how easy I made running look, but I knew it wasn't. They had no idea the sacrifice and hard work it took. I fought hard to achieve my goal. Everyone has a story behind their success. I wonder if we would want people's success if we really knew what it took to achieve and maintain it.

G-d wants to give you good things. But blessings come with responsibilities of their own. And we will never do what is needed if we're so focused on everyone else. Let your desire for more not been seen in feelings of jealousy but rather in your own passionate pursuit to make your own dreams come true.