i choose my mental health over my 9 to 5 job during covid-19

My initial goal was completed

Goal setting is the key to everything, it gets you to focus on what you want and work your way to the things you need to do to get there. Having no goal makes you a bit scattered and might even find yourself lost. Working for a money machine corporation was such an unexpected turn in my life, I didn’t realize I would even consider it. Do you even know what my initial goal was to myself? I wanted to have my own office. It sounds so stupid and silly, but hey, you can’t judge something that I’ve done pretty well for a small goal. My first step was asking, “How can I get recognized to be where that guy was sitting.” And for the last 4 years, I took all the steps that made me get there.

Unleashed negativity

I think I can vouch for everyone working in retail or any type of customer service that many people are showing their true colors internally or not. In the beginning, it started out okay since we were all learning on what to do next. However, over time from left to right, I hear screaming, yelling or some type of bashing of why adapting to a new society was so hard for the older generation. Like for fucks sake, to call the cops to make people try to understand the new terms and changes. It started to affect my ability to work the way I usually do and at some point, I felt that I was doing it alone. I was falling apart because I started asking, “Is this really worth it?” We all felt the pressure, but I cracked first.

I brought work home everyday

The one thing that my dance instructor told us not to do, but in a different meaning. Anytime you enter into the dance studio you leave all the negativity out the door and everything else and start expressing yourself when the music plays. It was the same lesson I should have kept with me and putting it towards my work-life balance. Work stays at work and when you walk out that door, don’t bother thinking about it because you can’t do anything about it. Unfortunately for me, I would lose sleep over it, I would feel my heart pumping with anxiety because I didn’t do something I could have done that day.

COVID made me realize there’s more

I knew it before they announced it. I was already getting worried about what was going to happen. When the first month came during our pandemic, so many changes were happening, and slowly at one point, I was hardly working at all. I filled myself with social media, reading articles, learning how to cook, to invest a bit better and overall I was motivated to focus on my mental health. I took a step back and used my energy on my life for once and really narrowed down to learning what makes me happy. I know I still have to fill my bucket list of destination spots around the world, but it’s not going to happen at all this year or even maybe next year and that’s okay just as long as I’m doing what I’m passionate about.

I can probably write more, but this sums up my decision. I can’t say every day was struggling but, I’m so grateful that I made new friends, found inspiring people, volunteered, and grew up from a kid who didn’t know anything to a young adult that knows more than nothing. To be honest, I never wanted a career yet and I wasn’t looking for one either. As my journey was progressing in the company, I almost forgot why I stayed so long but every interview I did to switch into a new role I incorporated my purpose. My purpose was to work to learn.

I live a life of no regret because everything I’ve been through always made me stronger than before. I know I have the power to pick and choose what I want to do in my life and I’m confident enough to figure it out.

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