How To Stop Being a Perfectionist

But First, A Story

Yesterday I published a story about milkshakes, self-worth, and putting an end to the diet cycle. And right there, in the opening sentence, within the first ten (10) words, a TYPO.

And then the typo was caught. As a side note: is it really even a typo if no one notices?

Anyway, I digress…. There I was, busted. Me a writer. Someone who spots a typo from a mile away. Had made a mistake. I immediately changed it and thought “phew, thank Beyonce” (shout out Weeze for naming Beyonce as our spiritual higher power, because well, Beyonce) I was able to fix that.

But Then I Thought….

No, hang on a second here. I LOVE Drake. And I love to have a good laugh. So I Drake a milkshake, so what. It’s funnier that way anyway. So I changed it back. And pointed it out. And now I’m talking about it here. In doing that I owned my mistake, found some extra giggles in my day, and gave perfectionism the directions to the door and how to open it.

Why Is This Important?

Perfectionism, in a simple way, is defined as regarding anything short of perfection as unacceptable. How I see it is and either being way harsh on yourself for your perceived mistakes or shortcomings or majorly procrastinating on doing anything out of fear of not being able to do it “right” or “perfect”.

Raise Your Hand If You’ve Ever Felt That Way.

My hand is raised right along with you. I get it, I’ve been there. I still go there. There’s something I know to be true (shout out Oprah )for many things in life we may want to change. And here it is — the more we can notice it, name it, and change it, the less and less we feel it.

B’s 5 Step Program To Shutting.It(perfectionism).Down.

Step 1: Notice it.

Step 2: Name it.

Step 3: Name it louder.

Step 4: Take an action.

Step 5: Notice again.

Here’s An Example:

Using the story above as an example here’s a breakdown of what that could look like.

Step 1: Noticed I made a typo (or rather someone brought it to my attention, which I am so thankful for. Please if you notice something, say something!)

Step 2: I said to the person who pointed it out, oh, I made a mistake. And also that’s funny. I do love Drake so…

Notice there’s no OMG how could I make such a mistake, I am (insert self-critical insult here). Rather I named the mistake, was able to find some humor in it, and moved on. This one didn’t (other than to Drake for not capitalizing his name — sorry Drake!) but if the mistake requires an apology, give one. If the mistake caused harm, ask the person to which harm was caused how you can repair it.

Step 3: Where I shared the story, I added a note about the typo.

Step 4: I edited the typo.

Step 5: Then I noticed how that felt. Saw perfectionism in the action of changing the word, then edited it right back to Drake. That felt right to me in this instance. Use your discernment to determine the best action.

And THAT is how to stop perfectionism in its tracks. Like “hey, I see you, thanks for coming but that’s not welcome here.”

Have you struggled with perfectionism? Did you find this helpful? Want to share Drake song. (or know mine)? Let’s connect and keep the conversation going.

Thank you so much for showing up here and allowing me into your space to share this experience with you. These are all my opinions and personal experience, I’m not a mental health professional. Perfectionism, like any trait, has a broad spectrum of feelings, emotions, and actions associated with it. If you’re interested in more information, tips, and resources, or are interesting in finding a professional to support you, Anxiety Canada has loads of free resources available.