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How to Overcome a Failure

Fail fast. Learn fast!

By Carren SandersPublished 2 years ago 7 min read
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How to Overcome a Failure
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Success is a goal that most of us set for ourselves in life. Depending on what it means to each of us, we will be affected, to a greater or lesser extent, if we fail to reach the set goal.

For some, success simply comes down to wealth, money, material gain, and wealth. For them, it is most important to have a good social position, to allow themselves to satisfy their various pleasures, and not to have to abstain from what they want or to think if they can afford a certain investment, vacation, car, or house.

For this type of person, failure does not necessarily mean going bankrupt, but simply not being able to afford all these things at some point. And the people who were at the top of the social pyramid are having a hard time recovering when they fell.

Some fall into denial, others into depression. Some are desperately struggling to return to their comfort status, even if that means violating moral or legal principles. Others fall prey to vices and lose their lives.

For others, success means having a beautiful family, happy children, a quiet life, and vacations that, even if they are not bright and do not take place in exotic locations, are at least full of joy.

These are the people who seek emotional fulfillment and who, most of the time, in case of failure fall prey to depression, despair, and often even suicide.

There are also people who want to accumulate as much information as possible throughout their lives, either in the sense of success and academic recognition or simply for them. These notions of knowledge often sacrifice the other sides of life, either personal or material, out of a desire to read and study as much as possible.

In the first part of life, academic success translates into good grades, passing exams, and access to the desired forms of study. A failure during this period may be easier to recover in the coming years, the young psyche and physical abilities being an asset in this regard.

The way each of us copes with failure depends largely on the structure of each. Emotionally vulnerable people are much more vulnerable and have a harder time recovering from such an experience, while stronger people find it easier to recover, find things or people to cling to or fixate on.

How do you overcome a failure?

1. Accepting failure and being aware of the disappointment

Overcoming failure is about finding the strength to start over. First of all, you have to overcome the idea of ​​failure. Failure to complete a project, relationship or goal can overwhelm you initially. But if you acknowledge your disappointment and accept your mistakes, you will be able to move on.

Pragmatism with hints of optimism will help you come up with a new plan. Remember that your long-term goals depend on your adaptive power. Every failure must be seen as a chance to grow and become stronger and wiser.

It is important that when you have a failure, you take the time to process your emotions so that you do not make hasty decisions or take up your feelings. Such behavior has pathological potential and can lead to chronic suffering, depression, sleep disorders or even heart problems.

So, the first step would be to face your reactions. The next thing would be to accept what happened to you, to be aware of this situation and the reasons that led to its occurrence.

After overcoming the initial shock, it is important not to start blaming yourself unnecessarily, neither you nor those around you, for what happened, nor to behave as if nothing had happened and everything is fine.

At this stage it is good, if you can, to write down what happened and then reread it, trying to accept. However, if this method does not work for you, try talking to someone close to you, an uninvolved person, who can offer you support and an objective point of view.

If you are in a situation where you cannot overcome the stage of denial and you refuse to discuss or accept what happened, to ignore the repercussions or your contribution to this failure, try to analyze what keeps you in place, what you are afraid of it will happen the moment you accept the situation.

It is essential to identify your irrational or excessive fears and tell yourself that you are not the only one who has ever gone through such a thing and that any endeavor has both chances of success and failure, and failure is part of life and cannot be. hidden with a broom under the carpet.

It is also important to consider the consequences of your inaction and what might happen if you get out of the state of fainting, trying to run away from problems.

2. The power to make your way through failure

In order to be able to find solutions and overcome the bitter taste of defeat is important to practice positive thinking, to see the fragment of good from all that is bad, instead of having a precipitous attitude and believing that a failure is an end!

It is very important how you perceive what happened and how you express yourself regarding your failure. You could try a less categorical attitude, replacing the phrase "I failed to do this" with "I still haven't managed to do this", leaving room for future attempts, which, who knows, could be successful, being the fruit of life experiences.

Think about how many showbiz stars or successful businessmen tell every day how they started out as ordinary people, how their doors were closed in front of them, and people told them they couldn't even do things. basic in the fields in which they then excelled.

They all went through failures, but what helped them succeed was that they were not overwhelmed by failures, but they believed in them and persevered.

Another ace up everyone's sleeve is humor, the secret that can help us overcome any stalemate. As long as we do not bathe in drama and self-pity, it will be much easier for us to start over, with a positive attitude, only good for a winner.

3. Avoid chewing on your failure

To sit and think endlessly about the drama that happened to you, to clean up all the stages you went through until you failed does not help you, unless this process is a constructive one.

If, however, you do this only in the idea of ​​self-pity and healing tears, it is clear that this process is destructive. Instead of doing this, you can try to find out where you went wrong, what you could have done differently to change the end result, and especially what you learned from this life experience, what enriched you. Maybe this way you will find out that your attitude was not the best, that you didn't have enough patience, that you weren't punctual enough or that you got lost in the details and that's why you failed. Surely, however, next time you will do much better.

4. Setting new goals

Once you understand what happened to you and why it happened to you, it's time to find a way to move on. In this sense, it is necessary to be as lucid as possible and to analyze the previously proposed goals, to see if they were realistic, and to try to propose new ones, adapted to your possibilities and the realities you face.

What would you like to do and how can you make it more successful this time around? These are just some of the goal-setting shareware that you can use to get started.

In this sense, you could try to document yourself in more depth, in order to understand exactly which way you have to start and even to participate in some courses, which will help you in this regard.

5. Change your approach

If the method you used the first time was not successful, you can try a new approach. Try to change certain steps you have taken in the past, and perhaps your chances of success increase.

This is the best way to use past experiences. In this sense, avoid the mistakes of the past and always try to have a backup plan at hand, for the situation in which you get stuck at some point.

If you have gone through all these steps and healed yourself from the mistakes of the past, you will surely succeed a second time, or at least you will get closer to your final goal. It's all about looking ahead and having a constructive attitude!

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About the Creator

Carren Sanders

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