How to heal broken heart?

When a cherished relationship ends, we often must heal from what's commonly referred to as a "broken heart." The process can be painful and slow, but it does pass, and time will help you recover. In the meantime, harnessing it as an opportunity to learn more about your wants and needs can help you develop and strengthen healthy coping skills to use in future relationships—and to help you get through the end of this one.

The phrase has two meanings:

1) A painful, depressed emotional state resulting from an upsetting event such as a breakup, death of a loved one, etc.; and

2) acute stress-induced cardiomyopathy, a temporary physical condition characterized by chest pain, shortness of breath, and/or abnormal heart rhythm brought on by stress, intense emotion, serious illness, or surgery.

Signs of a Broken Heart

If your heart is broken, you might feel symptoms common to depression:

Fatigue

Reduced or increased appetite

Sleeping too little or too much

Lack of interest in your usual activities

Anxiety

If you feel as if your physical heart actually hurts, you're not imagining it: The flood of stress hormones your body is releasing in response to your emotions can trigger broken heart syndrome, aka stress-induced cardiomyopathy. Symptoms of this physical condition include an erratic heartbeat, chest pain, and shortness of breath. You might even feel as though you're having a heart attack.

Causes of a Broken Heart

Any loss can cause a broken heart. Whether it's the end of a relationship, the death of a pet, family upset, personal failure, or other negative event, separation from someone or something we value can cause heartbreak.

How Long a Broken Heart Lasts

There's no getting around it: This is going to take some time and effort. In the immediate aftermath of a breakup, you don’t need to jump into problem- solving mode. In fact, doing so when you haven’t allowed yourself to fully work through your feelings may make the process more protracted and difficult.

As time passes, don't compare yourself to characters in movies and books who bounce back with tidy endings in two hours. Every person and relationship is different, and dealing with heartbreak is not the same process for everyone or every time. Give yourself permission to take the time you need.

Within the space of each day, try to limit how long you allow yourself to ruminate on what's happened. For example, you might set aside 30 minutes a day to think about what you're going through; that can help you push such thoughts away outside of that time.

If you feel as though you're not recovering as you should or you just can't endure the pain alone, consider counseling or therapy. These professionals are highly trained to help people through challenging situations and states. To find a therapist, ask your healthcare or insurance provider for recommendations, and search online for patient reviews.

Ways to Mend a Broken Heart

In the early days, try to resist the urge to isolate yourself. Sadness, guilt, confusion, and other intense feelings can be overwhelming. Reach out to the people who care about you. To come to terms with the changes in your life, you’ll need the support of your family and friends.

If a Loved One Has a Broken Heart

Resist the urge to cite common platitudes and cliches; they're not likely to help.2 Although you mean well when you say things like, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” such sentiments don't offer any practical advice for coping with painful emotions.

Dos

Do take care of yourself.

Do appreciate the good memories.

Do reevaluate your needs.

Do try again when you're ready.

Do forgive—both the other person and yourself.

Don'ts

Don't let your emotions rule.

Don't get stuck in the past.

Don't deny your needs.

Don't jump into a rebound relationship.