How to Balance Life

Step 1: You don't.

No, seriously. When your life consists of a multitude of responsibilities, true balance is nearly impossible. At least for what society tells us balanced looks like.

• Eating a balanced diet and drinking the recommended amount of water daily.
• Exercising on a regular basis.
• Working a full time job or career.
• Maintaining a happy and healthy marriage.
• Raising healthy and well-mannered children.
• Being great at everything you do all while practicing self care regularly.

I am exhausted just typing it all out. Sure, ideally, that is what my life would look like. But, who really has the energy and time to accomplish it all to societal standards? Not me.

Merriam-Webster defines balance as "a state in which different things occur in equal or proper amounts or have an equal or proper amount of importance." So, just starting with face value, true balance requires at least 1 of 2 statements to be true:

1. Different things must occur in equal or proper amounts, or
2. Different things must have an equal or proper amount of importance.

Why do I think balancing life is nearly impossible? Well, let's take a look at my life with Merriam-Webster's definition in mind.

I am a woman who holds many titles, each with their own set of responsibilities. I am a wife, a mom, a student, and a teacher. Those are the titles for my primary duties. I am not taking into account being a daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, and friend *takes deep breath* - for now. I am going to analyze both statements at the same time as I go through my titles. Please remember that this is strictly my point of view and it is okay if you do not share the same thoughts.

First, and foremost, I am a wife and a mom 24-7. Those are two titles that will always come before the other two. My wife and mom duties do not occur equally with my other titles and, at any time, can interfere with either of them. So, of course, they also do not have equal importance. Are either the occurrence or importance of proper amounts? That might vary based on the situation. For example, I have had to stay home from work with my kids for a total of 11 work days this month alone due to mandated quarantines. It would have been 16 days if my husband had not been able to take off during one of the quarantines. So, this month, I would say it was not a proper amount, but it was out of my control.

Secondly, I am a teacher. Not only am I a teacher, but a special education teacher. This is the title I hold in order to help provide for my family. While working with my students is rewarding and I love the career I chose, this title's primary importance is financial support. At any moment this title can change, therefore, I cannot allow its importance to supersede my titles as wife and mom. Unfortunately, there are times when my responsibilities as a teacher interfere with my responsibilities as a wife and mom. That is when life gets difficult and overwhelming, for me at least. Using my previous example, I was stressed and anxious each day I had to be home from work this month despite it being beyond my control, solely due to the pressure of the start of a new school year and, what I perceived to be, judgement from colleagues because of my absence. Balancing life is even more difficult when you don't feel as though you are supported in all areas of your life.

Lastly, I am a student. This title is solely by choice. I already hold a Masters degree in Special Education. Am I required to earn a degree beyond my Masters at this point in my life? No. However, I wanted this advanced degree for myself and for my own personal, and professional, development. Since I am pursuing this degree on my own accord, its importance is lower than the other three titles. Its occurrence, though, is consistent since there are set due dates for assignments. So, there might be moments when the importance of being a student is greater than any of the other titles. For instance, there are moments when I have to opt out of fun family activities because I have to get an assignment in by Sunday night.

If I were to put these four titles into a pie chart, wife and mom would collectively take up roughly 80%, teacher would take up nearly 50%, and student would take up about 25% with the numbers subject to change at any point. See how balanced that is?

"But Krystle, where is the advice in all of this?" I know, I know. I have only told you how wonderfully balanced my life is and how put together I am. Ha! Here is my advice (because you must want it since you have made it this far), take a moment to think about all of your titles, how often each of the responsibilities occur, and how important each of them are relative to each other, just as I have done. Once you analyze how balanced your life is, if you're not happy with the balance, and it is within your control to, change it. If you're making things work just fine, please send me your secrets!

Happy Balancing!