Grow Anyway

Today I was feeling stagnant. My energy was off, and everything I attempted to do felt heavy. It didn’t matter how small the task—it seemed twice as hard to get started and even harder to follow through.

I’ve been feeling this way for a few days now. Nothing I tried helped me get back into balance. I have so much to do, so many options for my future, and yet I couldn’t decide where to begin. Should I work on my books and create a stream of revenue? Or the t-shirt designs? Or maybe start that tarot channel?

Then the overwhelm set in. And with it—fear.

I felt pressure to get something done, yet I was stuck in analysis paralysis. Fear started to settle in, making itself comfortable in a space where it didn’t belong. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t my baseline. My vibration was off. My frequency was low. And I didn’t like that at all. I’m usually fearless, so what was happening?

First, I had to be honest with myself. I had been allowing distractions to pull my energy into places that had nothing to do with my purpose. I spent hours on things that didn’t move me forward. Outside of tidying my home and starting a small garden, I didn’t have much to show for the past couple of weeks.

And yes, it’s okay to rest—and I did. But I wasn’t channeling that restored energy into anything meaningful. Instead of transmuting it, I just sat in it. What should have been neutral energy became restless, then heavy, then fearful.

I had also been neglecting my spiritual practices—something I genuinely love. I was going through the motions, but the intention wasn’t there. Even my moon cycle rituals felt routine. That should have been my cue to go deeper, to do some shadow work. But I think that’s where the resistance came from. Revisiting old wounds and emotions felt overwhelming.

Still, I had to ask: What is really going on?

So I checked in with myself.

What am I feeling?

Is this even mine?

When did this start?

What triggered it?

And most importantly—how do I shift out of this?

Normally, when my energy is low, I go to the lake and watch the water. But today, I didn’t even want to do that.

So I chose something else.

Trees.

Yes—trees.

I stepped outside and went to connect with them. I don’t always talk to them. Most times, I just place my hands on the trunk, exchange energy, and offer gratitude. I thank them for helping me clear my mind and make space for clarity. And somehow, I always walk away feeling like I received more than I gave.

There’s an old oak tree I usually go to, but today I chose my baby tree—a young oak sapling I planted about a month ago. When I first got it, the leaves had fallen off. But I nurtured it, and now it was full again—bright, healthy, and green.

I walked up to it and wrapped my hands around its trunk.

Immediately, I felt something—vibration.

At first, I thought it was just the pressure from my grip, so I loosened my hands. But the feeling remained. The tree was alive with movement. That vibration moved through me, relaxing my body. My breath slowed. My thoughts softened.

I closed my eyes and just felt.

Then a question came to me:

Why are people afraid of growth?

Trees don’t question growth. They don’t resist it. They just grow.

So I turned the question inward.

Sandra… why are you afraid of growth?

All around me, trees were growing without hesitation. My little sapling was proof of that. It had even leaned toward the direction of the sun—slightly tilted, not perfectly straight, but still thriving.

There was no fear in it. Just purpose.

It knew what it needed: sunlight, water, soil. And as long as those needs were met, it continued to grow.

Simple.

So I had to check myself.

Stop acting like a hothouse orchid. Get back to basics.

I already have everything I need to complete my projects. And what I don’t have, I can get. If I need motivation, I know how to create it: music, affirmations, movement, meditation, rituals, visualization.

I had simply fallen out of alignment.

And that misalignment created fear. That fear led to overthinking. And the overthinking led to paralysis.

I kept asking, What if I get it all wrong?

But I never asked, What if I get it right?

I wanted to create, but I felt blocked. The truth is, the block came from fearing that I wasn’t aligned enough to produce something of value.

Standing there with that tree, I had to ask myself honestly:

With all these opportunities… why aren’t you moving?

Is it really about time? Or discipline?

Or is it fear of growth?

Was I creating problems that didn’t exist just to avoid stepping forward?

That was it.

The clarity hit, and just like that, the weight lifted.

My little tilted tree gave me the answer.

I was worried about not growing fast enough—about not being perfectly aligned. But that small, slightly tilted tree showed me something simple and powerful:

You don’t have to be perfectly aligned to grow.

You just have to keep growing.

So I gave myself grace.

And I got back to doing what I love.