Gratitude Resolution with Self Reflection

Decided to take a moment and share a page from Kendra Men’s gratitude journal which is a reflection of 2020 and a 2021 resolution for authentic myself.

As 2020 came to an end and 2021 began I decided to reflect over the past year and figure out what lessons I have learned.

First lesson , when someone shows you who they truly are, realize it.

Second, was coming to terms that some previously cherished friends and family can be let go off for my mental well being and I don’t have to feel guilty for it. you don’t have to be like them or put up with it. be kind even to unkind people. They need it most. Then do what needs to be done. Wish them well and hope they eat, just not at your table! If they continue to be unkind, or cause harm. It’s ok to protect your energy and realize some self growth is a blessing and that some people need to be out of your life forever and they just become a life lesson.

Third, I have always opened my doors, fed friends, give free hugs, have a listening ear to people who needed it. My shoulder is always available to be cried on. I don’t mind. I’ve Offered advice, helped them through the panic attacks if I could. I taught people how to meditate, explained the law of attraction, made vision boards with them so they had goals they would see everyday. I’ve even played their favorite songs and danced in my dining room with them, or helped them find new found hobbies, or even love. But I’ve constantly reminded them they mattered and deserved happiness. Unfortunately on the flip side, there are others in my life who don’t have similar struggles, and are happy in their life, and judged me for helping friends through their dark times. It blows my mind how others judged me and talked to others about me, and how trying to help others is to much. They think I should only focus on my own home life. However, I always focus on my home life. Both my husband and I help people together. We don’t absorb other people’s problems. We observe them.

Being kind to others without passing judgement means more to me than anyone’s opinion. My brother took his life over a decade ago because he thought he didn’t have someone to lean on. I don’t feel bad for being there for friends when they hit rock bottom. Knowing 7 people decided to not go down a bigger rabbit hole this year, changed their lives, or even decided to not end their lives is enough for me. I’ve never shared their stories or who they are. Saying this isn’t for recognition. But just know, your words, negativity or kindness can really impact one person. Every life matters. Your opinion does not. Your judgement only reflects your character. Not mine.

Fourth, when I decide to take time to focus on my life, self growth, building my business, starting college and importantly my marriage.. Others assumed and decided to speculate that I was doing unhealthy things. Small minded people can be so weird. They told others lies that I’m close friends with, without even checking in with me, seeing me, or asking me questions. Instead of being a grown up, a good friend or a decent person, they instead projected their life problems, bad habits and pretended it was mine. Others assumed my quietness was negative and decided of voicing concern, I should probably be avoided just in case. THIS is disappointing! However, I’m glad I don’t have to waste anymore time and effort supporting, spending time, or caring for ppl who don’t care for me. Some ppl can only love you because how you make them feel, instead of loving you for who you are. They have no current big life problems but they decided - We might. So our friendship wasn’t even worth a phone call to see if was ok, or if there was any problems in my life. When I worked on my business success quietly. Insecure ppl sometimes assume you are selfish or toxic.

I am My biggest commitment. If I don’t take moments to make sure my ducks are in a row, I will never become who I want, by remaining where I currently am. Situations like this also made me realize who deserves more of my attention and who truly cares about having me in their life. I had some family and friends calling me everyday, seeing how things are going, asking if I need help with school or work and asking if my dads Heath was getting any better. They would cook extra food and stop by to just drop off food. Then I had a couple people who I used to always check on, helped build things for, loved dearly who told me they don’t care about how I’m doing if I’m not who I need them to be, if I don’t do what they want done, who said they have time to care about if my dad was dying, or who only calls if they need something from me. 2020 has really showed me how unkind some friends or family are. I am now to proud of myself to ever let myself help or hang out with these people.

Fifth, don’t focus on the time length of relationship/friendship. Don’t focus on how you know them or how related to them. It’s ok to not have them in your life anymore. Your self respect and worth mean more when you realize how much they truly don’t respect their feelings. Just because you were best friends with someone for 7 years , that length means nothing, you don’t have to keep forgiving. Sometimes new friendships can be more meaningful and easier. It’s ok to focus on that and appreciate it. You can feel more comfortable and appreciated with someone you have known for two months than someone you cared for over 7 years. Time heals wounds, but time is also the devil. Time is non-refundable, use it with good intentions and good people.

Sixth, keep an open mind, don’t judge others, appreciate the time someone is willing to give you to teach you something, never stop learning, always challenge yourself and strive for more but appreciate what you have.

Seventh, never stop being your authentic self. I will never be everyone’s cup of tea. But Don’t be ashamed of who you are, what hobbies you have and what beliefs you follow. Some People think I’m weird because I talk about my third eye, or how I follow wiccan beliefs, or mediate, I collect creepy things, can create visible reiki energy in my hand, go spirit hunting and take pictures of them, I read auras. I even believe in aliens! Ive followed some of family footsteps. My grandmother who was a fortune teller, she made spirit boards and read tea leaves. My mom who also did witch craft. My aunts who can see spirits , and open their third eyses, my daughter reads auras, and can see spirit energy.. etc. If you are close to me you know I have these parts to my life. I only talk to you about my “quirks” if I feel close to you. But since I’ve gone further on my self discovery path I’ve ended up with a group of people who are very similar and we bring out each other’s strengths and help each other grow. Don’t be ashamed of what differences separates you from others, it’s the differences what makes you interesting. If you care what others think of you, you won’t be living your life.

Eighth, allow your passion to become your purpose and it will become your profession. It will never feel like work if your doing what you love. Believe in yourself, you can create your own success and don’t be afraid to see it through. Entrepreneurs are the ones who are willing to spend a few years like others won’t, so that they can spend the rest of their lives like others can’t. If something isn’t working during your plan to build your “empire” don’t change the goal, just get a new plan. You are never to old to start over. How you spend your time and how you make money doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make you happy. Don’t waste your life making a living if you are not living your life. Follow your dreams. You are strong, you matter and you deserve happiness.

Learn from your mistakes, you can give solicited advice to others but say it nicely, rudeness and being confrontational to others does not make you look tough, remind the people you love that they matter, never give up, be nice, be humble and ALWAYS be positive!