Echoes of my wandering intellect - 1.

There's a whole lot I think of on a regular; and really, I tell myself to slow down sometimes. Whilst the troubled me might think they are all worries and internal battles, they are also major steps I know I can take to solve some issues. Perhaps bringing my mind to black and white (purple and green...lol) could correct my dilemma of trying to reduce pace while simultaneously not forgetting these little nuggets.

The regular you might take it as weird that I'm communicating my notepad, or maybe that's just me worrying what you'd think of this inconspicuous gift of mine (really, about 90% of my social circle don't know that I write), whatever! Well, considering the fact that I've spent a very large fraction of my life embracing my inner baby; there'd definitely be so much most don't know about me.

Back to the point, my me-inside almost randomly drops little pieces of big ideas. And then I go on to try to make me never forget, only to realize I've actually forgotten ___ like .. that so-so relevant law of reversed effort playing mind games with my mind. Here's me after all that, strategically painting this software with words I know I'd need, as well as someone else somewhere, someone I don't know.

Yeah, someone I don't know. One who probably knows me, or perhaps; one who doesn't. One who thinks he does but doesn't, one who does but doesn't know that he does, and ultimately - one who does and knows that he does. Oh, not forgetting one who doesn't and doesn't know that he doesn't.... Well, don't assume I myself can't be the 'he' here (which would be very clumsy under certain combinations right? hmm- most definitely).

I'm no artist, although I've painted pictures. I vividly remember how I've moved from Mickey mouse on my dad's A4 sheets - in glorious colors of black and red, weird Dora, splendorous ben-10.... to wax-colored pictures of kidneys and livers (not your regular). The only one live picture I have been assisted to make, with striking features and interesting connotations is actually me. And so far as I can tell, that particular art would never end.

Well, one thing being a young old man has taught me is to notice landmarks and keep them - memorized. And as much as that has helped lay layers of fresh paint, I have observed that I recently lay these layers with a bit of caution, questioning whether or not each stroke is with precision - to an end that the final image is perfect...ly perfect.

I'd ask myself though, what I would've turned out to be without these boundaries. How far would I have come - good or bad, and even how lonely or happy would I have been. What is me out of this cave? I guess I'd never find out untill I venture out of it; unless I embrace the curiosity that accompanies humanity and challenge societal norms.

But I meet another roadblock, what if it doesn't happen? What if it's too risky? What is the efficacy of whatever my reaction is? Am I even ready for that change? I guess I'd just stay in for one more day, re-evaluate my choices and strategies, my attacks and defenses; and tomorrow - if it's right, I'd give it a try keeping in mind that I'd only regret the chances I didn't take.

Time runs, she skips the tide even when I'm swallowed. She's a shadow - nothing humane challenges her. With each tick, she matches one and two; and when she feels like she separates them. Has she got any eyes? Any ears, lips or feet? Look out for my next post to find out🙃 and thank you for patronizing me - inside!

Check out my profile for more intriguing and thought-provoking words, let me know how ou feel in the comments, but for now, adios!