Dropouts Make Great Pictures

I believe that drop outs should not be turned a cold shoulder because there are many people who are meant to create and don't need to pay thousands of dollars for a continued education. I've made many decisions in my life and one of my most significant ones was the decision to drop out. All these decisions will bring me on to a unique path. Knowing this, I constantly remind myself that the future-version of me that is homeless was brought to that situation because of my own choices. However, my dream is to play professional soccer, so my choices will also determine if I get there.

My name is Carlos Orellana Jr, I'm 17 years old and I live in Chelsea, which is a bus ride from the better known, Boston. Chelsea is an urban sanctuary for immigrants where most kids grow up around each other in the small, densely populated city. On the contrary, I spent most of my time in East Boston at this organization that owned 3 middle schools in the area. They built their own high school down the street of the middle school I went to. My sophomore year at their high school ended abruptly when I realized the heavy monitoring and the constantly high held expectations weren't for me. On top of that, the deans had done things like lie about me to my dad who was even called my grandfather to my face, despite knowing him as my dad since my first year at the chained middle school. I was annoyed by these things in the moment but in all honesty I couldn't be less bothered. I knew these guys didn't want me there so I transferred to Chelsea High, back where I lived.

Moving to Chelsea High was a big change. My first couple of days were relieving. The school was pretty loose when it came to enforcing rules, and a lot less was expected of us students. Teachers don't seem to care about their craft. They became prisoners to the same textbook. Only few develop real connections to their students. Ever since my freshman year, I knew that I wasn't going to college, so I had to focus on my life outside of school where I could work on my own projects in an environment of my own. For example, I started taking pictures with a camera my brother let me borrow. I was consistently going out on these photo shoots with one of my closest friends, Wilber. It's great working with him because he moves so comfortably in front of the camera. I was a big fan of avoiding typical spots that were easy to capture photos at because it forced me to paint a picture in my head before snapping the first photo (the picture displayed above features Wilber on our walk home). I love shooting with him because he works well in front of and with the camera. He had already dropped out of Chelsea High and we talked about how liberating it is for him to be able to chase his dream of being a fashion designer. After a couple of purposeful, and optimistic conversations, I truly realized that I had control over my own life. A couple days later, we both got fat anarchy signs eternally tatted on us.

With a lot of responsibility lifted off my shoulders I was able to pick up soccer, after 2 years of doing absolutely nothing productive for myself. The best part is that I came back better than ever. I trained my ass for months on end and I was finally somewhat at peace with how I was using my time. My brother gave me the great opportunity to practice with a semi-pro team his former coach had put together. At 16, I felt out of place, yet unstoppable around all these older people who were either in college or had a family and kids.

Luckily, I got to spend my birthday, Christmas, and New Years with my mom in Mexico. Time had gotten lost in the midst of all the drinks, reunions, and festivities, so it wasn't till I got back home that I realized I was 17 and 2020 had begun. With all this in mind I was able to spend a lot of time thinking over the short, 17 years I've lived, and the few years of my youth I have left. I feel as if being 17 is so far from being 16...

I feel as if being 17 is so far from 16, and it is only because I've learned and matured so much before my birthday. I learned that most kids my age aren't worried about their destination in a couple years when it is totally in our power to choose where we end up. I think this is because it's comforting to believe that going through high school and college will for sure land you you're dream job, or at least a job that you can settle for.

In most cases I think that's bull shit. A lot of people apply for colleges with no vision in mind; choosing minors that are 'fun'. Many passions are left undiscovered because of this. It's hard to go 'balls to the wall' for a lifestyle filled with ambition, but isn't as convenient or socially acceptable as settling. As a result, many students lack passion for dreams they may have had for the future. This makes it hard for me to relate to my classmates because most conversations are about how the next smoke session is going to go down. I'll even admit that it got uncomfortable at times; seeing so many people fully occupied by things like the persona they display at school and online.

This school was obviously not providing me with much, and I wasn't producing much for this school, so I finally dropped out after one and a half years at Chelsea High. I briefly talked with my Spanish teacher after dropping out because I knew she would tell me if she seriously thought I was doing something wrong. She had business degree but I respected her word mostly because she always had an open mind and had good input for issues like this. To no surprise, she told me that if I wasn't getting work done in school, I'm wasting my time. I never attended class after that.

Halfway through this story my dad suffered a heart attack. His mouth had reacted to cancer treatment medicine and the pain triggered the heart attack. He stayed at the hospital for 3 nights, and was discharged the morning after. The house was so silent during that time. I thought heavily about how at 68, his time will soon come. I've always been resilient and controlled, but this might be toughest test yet. Thankfully, dropping out gives me an insane amount of time to spend alongside my dad.

He loves soccer as much as I do, and hopes I carry on his legacy in the near future. He plans to move to Costa Rica to live somewhere away from this collapsing country and I'm going with him. Soccer isn't taken as seriously in the US. On the other hand Costa Rica's soccer is renowned in Central America.

After a day of having my dad rest at home, I turned on my laptop to continue this story. However, I was interrupted by the shock I experienced when I heard my dad weakly calling me with a strained voice. His heart was hurting and it's pace was rising by the second. Fast forward 2o minutes and for the second time this week, I watched my dad get carried out in a stretcher. The beginning is always the roughest part, and I'm still in control of my future energy.

To start this, I said I believed dropouts shouldn't be turned a cold shoulder. I look back and reflect on what I've done so far in this short journey:

-Gained 5 days a week to spend on my own projects and with my dad

- I learned to comfortably use a camera, and even got myself a few gigs at events

- Returned to playing soccer and joined a semi-pro team at 16

-I began experimenting on clothes with Wilber, and have established a plan to create a clothing brand

I didn't list these things because I like bragging. I listed them because I want to show how your able to control your life. I set my mind on certain objectives that interested me, and through shear will power, I was able to grow and achieve these goals. I chose to improve my soccer skills, and give myself a wicked amount of time to occupy my creative energy. Now that is what I call, being in a picture perfect state of mind, and that's how dropouts make great pictures.