Does Your Physical Appearance Show Your Emotional Strength and Weakness

Our world is changing. Not all of us like what’s going on. But many of us can see deeper into the actions, choices, decisions, and intentions of others.

“Oh, Aunt Bev,” Angella cried on the rim of tears as she entered her aunt’s kitchen. “I got the scholarship, and the requirement is three hundred hours of community service.”

“So, what’s your problem?” her aunt said, eyeing her curiously as she eased towards her at the sink.

“No one wants to take me,” she lamented, wiping away tears.

Easing toward her, she consoled her after turning off the faucet, “You adore children and choose a profession that would help them. You even volunteered at schools. None of these schools wants to take you now?”

Beverly had to grab her niece quickly before the pain of rejection and disappointment sent her to the ground. She half-carried her to the living room and gently pushed her down on the sofa, then sat beside her. Beverly sighed, battling with life. Demanding whether she should tell her favorite niece the truth. Life said, “The truth can heal or harm. It’s her choice.”

“They all rejected me. I volunteered there during my first, second, and third years of college. Now it’s my final year, and they are carrying me around and around instead of telling me the truth!” her pain said.

Easing back, Beverly took her hands, stared into her eyes, then grabbed a small mirror from her purse on the coffee table, and suggested, “Take a look at yourself.”

In furled brows, Angella obeyed.

Her Aunt took her phone from the coffee table, searched through it, and said, “Look at these three pictures.”

Angella obeyed.

“You were so excited that your dream to be a teacher is possible. Every year on your first day of college, you took a picture and sent it to me.”

More tears rolled down.

“Take a look at yourself again,” her aunt coaxed.

“I am different, so what?” she defended, staring at herself.

“Change is good, but when it brings harm through your physical appearance that will impede your life and future, it’s not worth it,” her aunt explained.

“But shouldn’t they be more interested in my qualifications instead of how I look?” her anger demanded.

“In your world, that’s not enough. How we present ourselves can determine our emotional strength,” her Aunt said.

“What!” she screamed, bolting up off the sofa.

Her Aunt stared at her, then calmly explained, “You are communicating with people still living in the past. People who still believe in the value of morals and ethics. People who can see emotional weakness and strength in your physical appearance.”

“You mean they can look at me and know how weak or strong I am emotionally because of how I look?”

Beverly nods.

“But how?”

“In your first three years in college, you were how you were raised. Strong, confident, and self-assured.”

“How do I look now?”

“Like everybody else trying to fit in.”

“And that means I am emotionally weak?”

“You have tattoos, body piercings, fake hair, and more,” her aunt explained.

“And that means what?”

“They see you as someone who is easily influenced. Don’t like yourself. Are unaware of who you really are, of your beauty, and of yourself. You are changing the best part of you to fit in. People who know themselves don’t change to fit in. They change the world. They don’t allow the world to change them to accommodate anything,” her aunt educates.

“It’s hard to be the only one in class who is real, Aunt Bev. It’s painful to be the only one who can think for herself.”

“But why would anyone want anyone to think for them? Why would you want anyone to think for you? You are the only one feeling your pain. Your life is your decision. Your decision is your life, not mine or anyone else’s. Your brain is in your head for a reason. That means your thinking must be your own,” her aunt said in shock.

It’s difficult in our world now to be ourselves without fear, Auntie,” Angella said.

“If you know yourself, no one should tell you who you are. Changing to fit into something that will kill your dream isn’t worth it. These people are putting their reputation on the line to recommend you. It’s going to harm them if they recommend someone who can’t think for themselves. Your physical appearance tells the world about you. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. It shows the world that you are emotionally strong. Being the only child in class or school, not trying to fit in, shows strength.”

“But they don’t know me,” she fired back.

“And that’s what makes the risk costly. They are risking their reputation and possibly their job to recommend you. They have families relying on them to make sensible decisions. They are not going to put their jobs and lives on the line for you. Go back to your real self. People who care about you will accept you for who you really are and want to be,” Beverly encouraged.

Wiping away tears, as understanding broke down walls and doors, leaving a mountain of painful truth behind, Angella pleads, “Why didn’t you all tell me the truth?”

“The thing with the truth, for it to be accepted, it must hit with pain at the right moment. Nothing beats the right time, girl.”

The right words at the right time are nourishment for the body, mind, heart, and soul. Annelise Lords

Silence spoke as understanding and love embraced both women, and Angella shared, “I guess sometimes we have to lose ourselves to find ourselves stronger and better.”

“Yes, honey,” her aunt consoled. “Just don’t make it a habit of losing yourself.”

In my world, we see life, its consequences, penalties, and rewards as it unfolds. We use your life as our manual. Your physical appearance can and will determine how emotionally strong or weak you are. Many children in our world now can’t be themselves without fear. They shouldn’t. Children should not have to be afraid to be who they want to be.

I am often asked many questions because of how I look. Why don’t you pierce your ears? Why no makeup? Why don’t you do your nails? Why don’t you use curse words? Why dress conservatively? Why don’t you look like everyone else?

I like me the way I am. I was unaware that choosing to be me and who I want to be was actually emotional strength. My appearance and how I carried myself have helped me a lot over the years. I am aware that the balance must be paid. Change can harm or help me. The choice is mine. I amend my life, not change it.

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.