Do Women Own Their Lives?

This piece is dedicated to all females who own their lives!

“You have to marry him?” Jesse’s father ordered as they enjoyed breakfast of spinach scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese melting all over it. Homemade whole-wheat raisin bread, along with turmeric tea made with fresh, homemade coconut milk. Fresh fruits of different colors and types were spread across the table in dishes, inviting and luring eyes away from the cheese melting over the eggs and the delicious aroma.

What was about to happen was enough to transform everyone’s taste buds somewhere else.

Jesse had been awaiting her father’s decision all of her life. She was ready for this moment. Glancing at her mother, to the left of her father, she read the fear in her eyes and saw the pain as it lingered. Then several blinks send it back home, deep within her heart.

Her eyes moved to her little sister beside her mother, who felt the urgency of the moment and stared at her father in curiosity. Her only brother, to the right of her father, swayed his head but remained silent.

Jesse was given the seat at the head of the table facing her father. She knew the moment had arrived when she had to show ownership of her life. She had to present the deed, that she was the owner of her life.

Smiling, she said, “No, Papa, marriage is my decision. Not yours. Not our culture. Not anyone but mine.”

She witnessed the anger as it spread across her father’s face. He battled with the rage of her disobedience, then ordered, “You are my daughter, and you will do as I say!”

“I was your daughter until I learned to walk, talk, and make decisions for myself,” Jesse said.

He slammed his napkin on the table and shouted, “You will do as I say!”

“I have been in charge of my life since I was eight years old. You were too busy to notice. Your focus was always on Michael, ensuring that he does what males in our culture do. While we females are busy building lives and taking care of everything. We run your life, so you can’t own ours. You can’t own mine either,” she slammed dunked.

Her father’s eyes popped, and popped, and popped as her words of truth and reality sent him on a rollercoaster ride he couldn’t get off of.

She went on, “Women have been pushed aside as they plant with love and kindness. They nurture with wisdom and understanding. They build with blood, sweat, tears, sacrifice, and pain, putting their lives and dreams on hold so others can live their own lives. We have been making decisions at an early age to ensure your world goes how you want it to. We create the tool that enables your success, Papa. Now I am using those tools to create my own. I own my life. My decision to marry anyone will be mine and mine only!”

“But this is how we have been doing it for centuries,” he stuttered in shock.

"Because in those days, women weren't aware that they could own their lives. They are busy fixing and preparing the lives and living for everyone else, Papa. Go back into your life and see what females add to it. In fact, all of what Mom, grandma, great grandma, and all of her generation did can put a claim on your life!" Jesse sent his heart too far.

He coughed, his eyes searching the room for support. He got none, not even from his only heir.

"Our world is changing, Papa. We are life builders and we can and will own our lives because we are the ones living its pleasure and pain. Love and hate. Cruelty and kindness. Plus, all of what life sends our way. Marriage is my decision, not yours. You aren't living my life. I am!"

I own my life. As a child, I was forced to make adult decisions with limited knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of life. Women build, help, create, and grow life for children, husbands, boyfriends, and others, at a cost and sacrifice to themselves.

Own your life, females, and live a damn good one that will heal and help our world, taking it to a better place for all of humanity. Yes, women are life builders, and we can heal our world. Start now! Annelise Lords