Disney Characters Teach Us How to Swim Through the Storms of Life

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ― Maya Angelou

When my daughters were young, I valued Disney movies. In fact, they threw me a lifeline after an exhausting day at work when I needed time to start dinner, load the dishwasher, pay the bills or any of the other duties labeled mother's tasks. If temperature outside forced us to find adventures indoors, the cursed boob tube entertained the children. It provided me time to stop battling the constant surge and provided quiet moments to ride the surf. 

During those times, I embraced Disney movies for survival. I never suspicioned they would teach my daughters future life survival skills. Kari and Kat watched Disney movie characters demonstrate bravery, courage, and the value of work to actualize their dreams. 

Little did I know, a challenge waited off stage for Kari. She was 33-years-old when a debilitating stroke changed her life. When she woke in a hospital bed she had lost the use of her right side and couldn't speak. She responded just as her Disney role models patterned; she just kept swimming. In the movie, Finding Nemo, Dory survives the dangers of the vast ocean surrounded by sharks, swims through the forbidden trench, talks to whales, and continues to inspire Marlin to just keep swimming. That what Kari did. 

Characters who personify perseverance commonly appear in Disney movies, which seems natural considering Walt Disney lived by the slogan, "If you can dream it, you can do it." In his bigger than life existence, he suffered numerous failures before finding success. Disney studios present to youth, characters who break from the expected to challenge the difficult and conquer struggles. 

One day Kari participated in six hours of rehab activities followed by her daughters visiting. Since I was exhausted from watching, I can only guess how she felt! She just said, "OK, What's next?" She desires to challenge the waters like a salmon swimming upstream.

Kari could have laid on the beach and lived vicariously, she chose to plunge in, sometimes dog paddling, sometimes she floated, once or twice her head went under until someone guided her to solid ground, and eventually she learned to swim. She lived in the hospital for 43 days learning to swallow, sit up, and eventually walk. 

In my favorite Disney story, The Little Mermaid, Ariel learns to walk on land. Watching Kari relearn to walk reminded me of Ariel taking cautious steps, stumbling, wobbling unbalanced and then venturing on. The first time she walked 20 feet along the wall with two assistants guiding her steps, we celebrated as if she had completed a marathon. The dream of returning home to her children with the abililty to do all the things mothers do pushed her to place one foot in front of the other.

In the Lion King, Simba returns to his home, a place he believed he could not remain after his father's death to fight his Uncle Scar, the villain, and assumes his place as ruler of the land. 

Once Kari returned home, she channeled Simba. Her smile grew bigger yet the struggles increased. With no use of her right arm, she had to retrain her left hand. Overtime she learned how to shower, brush her teeth, do her hair, and all the personal care activities we all take for granted. It's been four years, and now creates delicious meals, shares passionate hugs, and paints with only the use of her left hand. 

She currently cannot return to work as a kindergarten teacher fulltime but volunteers four days a week. When she started working with the students, she created a PowerPoint presentation to teach the students why she has difficulty talking, walking and and no use of her right hand. She serves in a different role but impacts the world in a positive way. Kari uses her story to teach children the importance of accepting everyone as an individual 

She loves working with small groups and quickly began referring to a couple kids as "my boys." Their love and support are reciprocal Events drain her energy thus requiring afternoon naps daily, but then she begins again revived and ready to greet her daughters when they get home from school.

Belle, our heroine from Beauty and the Beast, accepts her fate to live with the beast only to fall in love with her prince and live happily ever after. Kari's home is her kingdom where everyone she cares about surrounds her with love. The love between her and her husband never faded and instead, he became her constant support and confidant. At first she felt held captive because of the limitation imposed by her stroke, but it didn't take long before she became queen of her castle where her world adapted to her. 

Image from author's photos.I remember watching one night while her husband worked to place a pillow under her back to increase her comfort. She wrapped her one strong arm around his neck and started pulling herself up. We asked her what she was doing and because of her restricted speech, she just kept moving until we finally figured out she wanted to sit up. With assistance, after sitting on the side of the bed with her feet hanging over the edge, she transferred to a chair.

Sometimes during difficult times, I craved to swaddle my daughters and protect them from conflict; however, I knew conflict made them stronger. Like the pearl, the irritants of life polished them into beautiful, talented, loving women. Kari's life post stroke proves how she grew the tail of a mermaid and conquered the raging waters that threatened to drown her spirit. With each rotation of the moon the tides pulled the water to her shores and invited her to jump in. She tries new activities as she retrains her mind to function differently.

Though "not yet" governs many actions, the list of accomplishments constantly grows. Each new activity is approached with a mindset of determination and a rough draft of a strategy for success. As with any draft, revision is a constant requirement. I still smile when thinking about our family (grandchildren, mother-in-law, grandparents, sister, husbands - the whole crew) playing miniature golf. Recognizing Kari's disadvantage playing with her left hand, the family wore oven mitts on our right hands and played with our left. We were not accurate; the game moved slowly; nobody kept score and Kari was the only player to hit a hole in one.

Life requires all of us to overcome the storms of life. Nobody is isolated from high tides, hurricanes, or tsunamis. Everybody faces floods of concerns, illnesses, challenges, and problems, but we all have the strength to swim through them even if we must dog paddle for a while. That's what Disney has taught me and thankfully, my children. 

You are invited to read more of Kari's journey swimming through the turbulence of stroke recovery. 

Understanding the Power of Not Yet

Her book is available on Amazon.

Understanding the Power of Not Yet: Accepting the Challenges of New Beginnings

Understanding the Power of Not Yet: Accepting the Challenges of New Beginnings shares stories of Kari's life post stroke. Kari is the author's daughter who at the age of 33 experienced a violent brain trauma that altered her life. Act one begins when Kari wakes in a hospital bed surrounded by family and continues through rehabilitation. When she returns home, act two illustrates the power of hope determination, and overcoming the odds. Her experiences and the events of those around her offer encouragement for stroke victims and their support systems by revealing survival strategies that help manage the unknown.

As Kari continues making gains, each day reminds us, this is a marathon with short-term successes. Though obstacles sometimes slow her journey to recovery, no barriers stop her progression. Her actions exhibit determination. Kari doesn't talk in terms of what she can accomplish, will achieve, or desires to complete; she simply lives life. She doesn't complain or exclaim, "I can't." She says, "Not yet." I fall asleep each night expectant to witness the next day's accomplishments.