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Dear churches… you’re not perfect

Growing up differently

By Hillary OhumendePublished 11 months ago 3 min read
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Once upon a time, in a small town nestled between lush green hills, lived a young girl named Grace. Grace was raised in a devout Christian family, and from a young age, she attended the Deeper Life Christian Church—a place where she sought solace, guidance, and a deeper understanding of her faith.

Grace was a quiet and introspective child, always eager to please her parents and the members of her church community. She followed the teachings of the church with unwavering devotion, believing that she was on a righteous path towards salvation. However, as Grace grew older, she started to experience a trauma that was hidden beneath the veneer of faith.

In the Deeper Life Christian Church, the emphasis on strict adherence to religious doctrines was palpable. The sermons often preached about sin, hellfire, and eternal damnation. Grace was constantly reminded of her shortcomings and the potential consequences of straying from the prescribed path. The fear of disappointing her family and the church community weighed heavily upon her fragile shoulders.

In the pursuit of spiritual purity, the church's teachings often pushed Grace into a realm of isolation and self-doubt. Her natural curiosity and questioning nature were discouraged, considered an act of rebellion against God's word. Any deviation from the rigid guidelines set by the church was met with disapproval and sometimes even condemnation. As a result, Grace began to view herself as inherently flawed and unworthy.

The trauma Grace faced was not only limited to the emotional burden she carried but also extended to her relationships. The church's teachings regarding relationships were restrictive, forbidding any form of romantic involvement or close friendships outside of the community. This further isolated Grace from her peers, as she struggled to navigate her desire for human connection against the backdrop of the church's disapproval.

As time passed, the weight of Grace's trauma grew heavier, burdening her spirit and hindering her growth. She yearned for freedom from the shackles that had bound her for so long—a freedom to explore her own beliefs, thoughts, and desires. She wanted to break free from the prison of fear and judgment that the church had inadvertently constructed around her.

One day, Grace mustered the courage to confide in a close friend from school—a friend who belonged to a different faith tradition. As she poured out her heart, she discovered a compassionate and empathetic response. Her friend listened, understanding the pain she carried and the need for acceptance beyond the confines of religious dogma.

Empowered by this newfound support, Grace began to embark on a journey of self-discovery. She explored different perspectives, engaging in conversations with people of varying beliefs and backgrounds. She found solace in a broader understanding of spirituality and the notion that love and compassion could be the guiding principles of one's faith.

Slowly but steadily, Grace began to heal from the trauma she had endured. She started to redefine her relationship with her faith, blending the teachings that resonated with her while leaving behind the harmful dogmas that had caused her suffering. In her own way, Grace found a balance between her religious upbringing and her personal growth.

As the years passed, Grace became an advocate for those who had experienced similar trauma within religious institutions. She spoke out against the practices that perpetuated fear, judgment, and isolation. Through her own journey, she hoped to inspire others to embrace their own spiritual paths, free from the weight of trauma and filled with compassion, understanding, and acceptance.

Grace's story serves as a reminder that even within the darkest moments, one can find the strength to heal, grow, and transform. And in doing so, they can bring light to others, helping to create a more inclusive and compassionate world.

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