Dealing With Other Men Questioning Your Manhood

As men, I think we have all been there. I think we have all allowed men to question our manhood. Women as well. In this article, I will tell you how to deal with men questioning your manhood.

As men, we tend to judge other men at times —and some of us do it more than others. This can be frustrating at times. Being comfortable in your manhood, only to have it questioned by other men.

This is something we all have to deal with. It is to be expected. Since it is bound to happen, use it to your advantage. Use it as motivation.

First off, you should know what being a man means to you. Define what it means to you. What's your definition of a good man? How do men you aspire to be like define it? How do the women you aspire to have define it? Determine that, and adjust your definition accordingly.

There isn't anything wrong with allowing men you admire to influence your definition, or to question things you do. Don't take it too personal. Especially if it is positive critique. As Love Dorsey says:

“Coming from a loving place.”

Constructive feedback and criticism can be beneficial. It can be productive. How we perceive ourselves matters, but how we perceive ourselves is based on how others perceive us. At least in it's developing stages. No one is above critique. Positive critique is both helpful and useful. I welcome it, but only from men I admire and aspire to be like.

However, I do not accept it from men I don't respect —or from men who don't have any respect for me. I reject critique that's not coming from a positive, loving, caring place. Some give you hard advice in hopes to better you. Some give it to bring you down. In hopes to lift themselves up at your expense. Some thrive off of tearing others down, to build themselves up.

I've had bums question my manhood. Men without a home, a car, or anything to show for their hard work question my manhood.

Because I wasn't outspoken or outgoing as they were. Because my voice wasn't as deep as theirs. Things of that nature. Point is, never let men you don't aspire to be like question your manhood.

Why do that?

When their manhood is questionable. But don't question theirs, just acknowledge that theirs is different than yours —way different.

What you value is different from what they value, as characteristics of a man —and that's okay. Agree to disagree. The problem arises when it becomes toxic. When you let it affect you. Then you have to address it —and address them.

Gain knowledge of self and never let anyone think they know you more than you know yourself. Know your worth. Know your value. Have and maintain confidence.

In conclusion, know that men are going to talk about you all your life. Some out of love, tough love. Some out of jealousy, because they feel threatened that you want what they possess. Some out of envy, wanting what you possess. Some out of hate, because you are where they want to be or have the lifestyle and/or women they desire.

Again, never let another man attempt to tear you down in an attempt to build themselves up —not even men you look up to and respect. Reject it, if it's not coming from a productive place.

Never let another man attempt to bring you down in order to lift himself up —not even men you aspire to be like. That's all for this one. Please let me know what you think. Thanks for your time.

Much love,

Christopher J. Banks, Sr.