11 Must-have Traits of Masculine Men

How do you define your masculinity? Do you agree with society’s definition? Do you think masculinity can be toxic? With the constant redefining of masculinity, I think it is important for every man to define it for himself. In this article, I will be discussing with you the importance of defining your masculinity. Again, something every man must do for himself. As, my version of masculinity may be slightly or completely different from yours. Therefore, we should all know what it means to us, and be comfortable in our masculinity. A basic definition of masculinity would be:

"having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with men."

- Dictionary.com

Which means being masculine is to have traits and characteristics that are traditionally associated with men. Therefore, they call some women masculine —as they possess qualities that are traditionally associated with men. So, it is important to note than these qualities are no longer exclusive to men. However, they are traditionally associated with men —and I will be sticking to it in a traditional sense. This article is for men who desire to be traditional men —as myself. In this article, I will be describing characteristics I associate with masculinity. Describing the type of man, I strive to be. In no specific order. I am listing them as I thought of them, with first being a protector.

1). A Protector.

A man who can defend himself. A man should be able to defend himself from various threats —both verbal and physical. Traditional men should embrace being protectors. As ancient men were protectors —being our ancestors. Being a man comes with responsibilities. Brute strength and power come with great responsibility. Most men are born with certain characteristics that make them naturally dominant, but that does not mean that men are necessarily born masculine. Masculinity —meaning qualities traditionally associated with men— are obtained through association with traditional men.

It is obtained by nurture —and aided by the testosterone we produce naturally by nature. Traditionally, when a man left his father's house, he possessed these qualities. Qualifies obtained by observing his father. He gained experience from being the second man in the household. Protecting his sisters, cousins, or younger brothers. Sparring and fighting with his brothers and cousins. Etc... Point is, a man must be able to defend himself, his home, his property, and all his assets. This includes his family and friends, as he considers them his assets. A man must be able to defend the people he loves and who loves him. He must also be a provider.

2). A Provider.

With the ability to provide for himself and the people he loves. Providing the basic necessities for survival and going above and beyond to provide excess. Having access to the basics and having excess accessible. As men, we need to provide. But to provide for others, we first need to be able to provide for ourselves. When we leave our fathers home, we should be equipped with the knowledge and tools to do just that —and seek out a mate to provide for and start a family with. But it is okay to provide excess for yourself before you choose to do so —as am I. Point is, have a providers mentality. Strive to provide and thrive. He must also be a leader.

3). A Leader.

Know how to lead, and know that:

" a true leader knows when to lead and when to allow others to."

- Christopher J. Banks, Sr.

Be the leader of your life. When you leave your father's home, you should be equipped with leadership skills. If not, seek out positive masculine men to lead you —until you gain the independence to be self lead.

"Only when you successfully lead yourself, can you successfully lead others. "

- Christopher J. Banks. Sr.

Leadership skills are developed overtime. No one is born a leader. Forget the notion of a natural born leader. The phrase natural born leader is misleading. Even a boy who leads other children obtained these skills from someone. He may have developed what he used to become a leader naturally, but he was not born a leader. He was nurtured to be one. A Prince can be born to lead, but that does not mean he will lead. Again, a true leader knows when to lead and when to allow others to. Allowing others to lead, does not mean you have to follow or that it makes you weak. Two brotherly kings running a kingdom can both lead. True leadership is not defined by sole leadership. It is defined by leading by example and by protecting, motivating, and providing for others who follow you. A true male leader raises more male leaders —and teachers his daughter how a man should lead her. He leads his woman, like her father once did. He takes that responsibly from her father and promises to lead her and their children. Point is, be a leader. A true leader. A respectful leader. A humble leader. An honest leader. One who leads and knows how and when to allow others to. Also, be an Intellectual.

4). An Intellectual.

A man with intellect. A high level of knowledge. Knowledge obtained to give himself a better life. Mental tools needed for success. A high level of intelligence. Intelligence, meaning knowledge. Having knowledge —obtained by observing other men. Obtained from experience. Traditionally when a man left his father's home, he possessed the intelligence and knowledge he needed to survive. This included knowledge of self.

“The most valuable knowledge one can possess is knowledge of self.”

- Christopher J. Banks. Sr.

Point is, get the knowledge you need to better your life, and the lives of your loved ones. Next is to be a motivator —a teacher.

5). A Motivator & Teacher.

Masculine men need to be teachers —motivational men. Men who demand respect. Respectful men who lead other men. Their peers and younger men. A true leader knows how to motivate and create potential leaders. A true leader motivates and raises strong leaders. Leaders gain leadership qualities by observing good leaders. A real father teaches his son how to become a good teacher himself. He teaches his daughter the proper way to be taught by a man. So, she will know what he requires. So, she will know how to be taught. Traditionally, when a man left his father's house, he has been motivated and taught to be a good leader. A good student who has been taught and motivated by his father and gained the knowledge needed to motivate his son as well. Point is, be a good student of your father or father figure —and grow and learn so you can do the same to your son. Masculine men also been to be confident— and assertive.

6). Confident/Assertiveness.

Masculine men need high levels of confidence. Self esteem. Self love. Strong knowledge of self. Etc. Confidence in his looks. Confidence in his ability to lead his family. Confidence with women and around his fellow man. He should be confident in his leadership skills. His ability to provide and protect. Traditionally, when a man left his father's house, he possessed a level of confidence. Realistic confidence. His father will give him a realistic view of himself and the world. Masculine men also need to be aggressive.

7). Aggressive.

Masculine men need a level of aggression. Aggression that they can control. As a protector, men should always be ready and willing to protect. To defend themselves, their property, and anything and anyone they love under their protection. A man should know how to control his aggression. It should be readily available to him when he needs it —but he should be able to always control his aggression. With his strength, with that power comes great reasonability. Masculine men also need to be loyal and dependable.

9). Loyal/dependable.

A Masculine man should be loyal to those he loves, and those who are loyal to him. He should be an emotional support to his woman and to all the women in his life. He should be as independent of everyone in his life as he can be —but he should be very dependable and reliable to those that he allows to be dependent of him. He should also possess ambition.

10). Ambitious.

He should have a strong desire to protect, provide, and lead. He should have a strong desire to please the women in his life. He should have a hustler's mentality —be driven. Driven for success. Rarely be content. Always seek better, easier, more effective and efficient ways to protect, provide, and lead his self and family. As:

" In order for a man To effectively lead others, he must master the art of effectively leading himself."

- Christopher J. Banks, Sr.

Last —but not least— he should be a competitor.

11). A Competitor.

He should not be afraid of competition. A confident man welcomes competition. He is not threatened by it. He knows his value and what he has to offer. He knows his worth. He is up for the challenge of defending or competing for what he desires. He is up for the task to compete. He stays physically and mentally sharp and in shape, fit. He keeps ambitions to compete. In conclusion, I am sure there are many things I have missed and forgot to mention. These were a few things I perceive a masculine man to be. This is who I strive to be. This is how I will lead and how I will teach my son to be. How I will instruct any mentee I have to be. Anyone man or boy who looks up to me. The goal is to be as masculine as I can be. To be these things and more.

What do you think? How do you define masculinity? How do you define manhood? Please tell me what you think? Can anyone define manhood? Can a woman define masculinity?

Thanks for your time.

Much love,

Christopher J. Banks, Sr.