Calm before the storm

Each day I realize more about the changes happening to me. The way I don't get all jittery all the time. I don't have road rage, I sleep pretty good most nights and haven't been sick nearly as much as I used to, despite we are in the middle of a supposed pandemic.

Feeling calm looking out to the world each day and thinking, wondering, what others are doing for themselves. I try and love myself no matter my circumstances. No matter my position in life. Up, down or sideways I always want to have a smile. I want to love and accept each person as they are.

I want to laugh and learn and take control. I want my heart to keep learning to love, though the walls are built thick and high. I want to feel a friends touch upon my cheek of the sunshine on a warm fall day.

I want to attract the things which are meant for me, all the magic I can get. I want to send out light to all the world and say thank you for being my guide. I want to smile, and live, and learn and serve, I want to live my passion and make it my profit. No more lack in the world for anyone, we all must just grasp our own true magic.

Trying so hard I'ts exhausting, it's horrendous the time it takes. What's time anyway way the world is ending it's all relative they say. I'm not afraid of going, not afraid of changing to something new. I'm not afraid of learning from the likes of you

Come into my life right when you were meant to, each and everyone. Came to see me with a lesson, a truth I must overcome. Then left me just as quickly, like a dry leaf stuck in the wind. Leaving me memories for me to keep.

Here we are together in this great fog of understanding. Trying to find the message in the bottle. Here we are waking up together, not sure how to act or what to say to make it all alright. Some are still just fading away.

This year was meant for growing. For finding each light inside. Realizing that if we all took a hand this would all just end. Embracing the love inside our hearts and letting the past darkness go. We find there is someone there that may scare us even more.

Why do we do the things we've done, did we learn and change the second time? Why did we say the things that we said, when our hearts were broken wide. I look in the mirror and don't even see the same women there. I am gone and in my place these wise eyes come staring back. The People that we back away from may be gone.

We come when we are ready. We stay until we are done. What's in between is up to us, we can stay the same, and never change and get more and more of what came before or we can leave it up to frequency and learn the answers that we seek.

I choose to learn and maybe I've just let go, for the last few weeks I find I care less, and less, instead of more and more. I don't care what you whisper behind my ear, or the way you stare at the way I walk out the door. I don't care that each new day ends with one new problem or something broken. It's just stuff, I don't know what to do when I'm already doing the best I can.

The anxiety that plagued me seems to have gotten lost along the way. The knots that lived in my stomach are gone, replaced with I'm not sure. I don't know if that is peace or just the calm before the storm.

In traffic where I used to yell, never satisfied. In traffic where I used to speed, and have no where to really go nobody to home to, in traffic when they've cut me off where I used to practice the vocabulary, I just don't care anymore. I don't get angry and feel like yelling, I don't get in a hurry because what's the point, time is irrelevant, and the world is heading someplace big so I'm not really sure which things should matter anymore.

Kindness in the way you live, a smile on your face. Laughter on your tongue. That twinkle in your eyes, I've stared into a million times, it will always catch my heart on fire. No matter what happens to time, no matter what light I shine.

This life is meant for lessons and I'm sure I've learned alot. I'm old now still feeling like I'm oh so young. I want to live the rest of it, in fresh clean air, and free to roam. I want to find my passion without apolgies. I want to have someone to hold, someone to understand the things I do and why they make me laugh.

This life was meant for all of us. I've always had the right. I just needed to realize that I'm just like all the rest. Deserving of the things that I want no matter how outrageous. Deserving of the things I want no matter what others desire too. I have given love so pure, trying to be kind to others, with a smile on my face and laugh sitting on my tongue.

I've lent a helping hand, a shoulder for your tear. I've let you scream right at me, and put my down before I understood just who I am. I've learned lessons I never I needed, and I'm grateful for each one. I've opened up and searched the light inside my heart. It may have cracks and it may not be completely healed, but it longs burning long and bright to bring the lost ones homes. Doesn't help to scream the message when the ears are deaf. Just take their hand and don't let go til they are standing on their feet.

Let the light shine bright. Don't let it dim. Pay the price and just get ready to dig in. I've come here this time and I know, I heard the Great Awakening, I finally feel it's up to me to help lead those that want to follow. If you don't want to go, that's fine we'll miss you so. I'll still be here just flying in the realms. Feel my light upon your soul, and always know. I am hear just like you, except I don't plan on staying.